On the atrocities in France and social media.

Posted in Death, Misanthropy, News, People, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

Thinking about it, I can’t be the only person on earth who is annoyed by the whole Facebook flag, hashtag solidarity thing. My argument against it is two fold. Sounds like a stupid thing to be annoyed by doesn’t it? 

Here is why I feel this way:

Firstly, the whole putting the France filter on your profile picture to show solidarity with the people and victims in France is okay. How do you automate solidarity? Facebook found a way. It’s a simple as a click, it even comes up on your news feed. You’re given an option to change your profile picture without prompting. 

To me, a gesture such as this is nice but doesn’t contribute to solving or even adequately addressing the issue at hand. Not only that but if you’re going to make a gesture of solidarity, do it spontaneously. Make the effort, be thoughtful and creative… Not just clicking a button on Facebook. It seems half assed and half hearted. Have some tact and some class.

The second thing is that I don’t believe I should change any aspect of my daily life because of the actions of a terrorist. This might be the first time that ‘keep calm and carry on’ has made sense to me. As I mentioned there are other ways to show respect and solidarity to the victims, survivors and people of France. As stupid and petty as changing your profile picture is, personally, I do not want to give a terrorist. A coward. any of my time.

They do not deserve the recognition unless it’s being tagged as the target of a 500lb laser guided bomb. I know violence is not the answer and will only perpetuate the cycle but I am left to wonder. When do people lose the right to continue to walk the earths surface?

It’s sad that this problem cannot be bombed. It’s an idea and ideas cannot be killed. We are in for a long fight. I also extend my sympathies to the average Muslim who will no doubt suffer as a result of the events in Paris. I can only hope we are smart enough to avoid perpetuating the cycle, although I’m sure this will happen again.

Liberté, égalité, fraternité.


Liberté, égalité, fraternité

Posted in General, Misanthropy, News with tags , , , , , , , on November 15, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the events in France by now. A coordinated series of terrorist attacks were carried out in Paris leaving some dead and many injured. I’m not sure if my ex is still in Paris but I haven’t seen her name on the list of those who were killed.

No posts on social media regarding her passing or being caught it the attacks. I have no way of knowing at the moment and either way there is nothing I can do. My heart goes out to those people who were out trying to enjoy their evening when these animals launched their attack.

I think it’s important to remember in this time that not all Muslims are terrorists. The guy that works in the market or the gas station isn’t your enemy, our enemy. In part I hope that we will organise a response that involves eviscerating these animals once and for all.

The sad part is that this will only perpetuate violence. How do you fight an enemy without honour or humanity without sinking to his level? There is no correct answer. All I can say is I am angered and saddened by the events in Paris.

I see humans but no humanity.


Every time just like the last, on the ship tied to the mast.

Posted in Love, Relationships, women with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST
full circle

full circle

Funny how that fits love perfectly isn’t it? It’s actually alluding to heroin usage. Love has been compared to drugs. Maybe it’s just more personal for me. I’ve learned a lot since my last two forays into love and relationships.

The first one was painful when it ended, it really hurt me losing her. She was my best friend since we were kids but it pales in consideration to the fuckery of the second one. I’m not saying I blame her for everything but in retrospect I now know what is to be in a bad relationship.

Still it hurt to lose her because she meant a lot to me and at the time I probably would have done everything and anything to make it right and workable… Now I’m outside of it I’m like ‘fuck that’ and ‘was I stupid.’ The answer to this is yes I was and that I am not innocent.

Now I have experience of both I know what to look out for and the multitude of ways I could fuck up a good thing. It’s all a learning curve. So I set out again with fresh perspective, scars and lessons learned.

When I was younger, less experienced and more arrogant I wrote an article regarding break ups. The information was good but it was best case scenario stuff. Easier said than done I think it’s called. It’s not so easy with the intense emotions involved in an actual break up.

It’s easy to talk from the outside of these situations. When you’re there yourself in your own unique set of circumstances there is no right answer. Plenty of wrong ones though. All of the advice was rather non specific and cannot be applied so well in practice for that reason.

I should rewrite that article. This brings me to what I am looking for. I don’t necessarily have a type. I like intelligence, I have to be physically attracted to her. There has to be something special about her. I think that’s all manufactured by my own perception though.

As I mentioned I’ve met two women I like. The first one I met is a really nice woman in a really shit place. Very likeable, she’s still learning about how people can be shit. She means so well and cares so deeply that people will try to take advantage of her, and they have.

A part of me wants to teach her the skill of spotting those pricks a mile off but at the same time I’m worried she’ll become jaded as I did. So I’m just focusing on making her laugh talking to her and stressing that none of what happened is her fault.

I like her partly because I feel completely at ease talking to her, we agree on a lot of points and she appreciates my perspective. If she finds the right man she’ll be a great partner and a very happy woman.

Now the other one is something different. She seems very intelligent, eloquent and pretty fun to converse with. She’s never really thought about companionship until recently. She seems to have taken a liking to me. Quite a unique woman in many ways. I’m just getting to know her really.

There’s another girl I met too, she’s a strange one. Great sense of humour and easy on the eyes. Very clever but she doesn’t display that. Very casual in her conversation. I like her but I’m really not sure why. She’s an endearing kind of weird. Also I’m weak for a sarcastic chick.

I’m not even sure she means to be likeable but I get the feeling she’s into me. I’m going to have to test that hypothesis by throwing a compliment out there and watching her reaction. I’ll be able to tell but this one is generally quite hard to read. I like a challenge.

I’m actually looking forward to the point where I can spend some time alone with someone. What I would give to fall asleep with someone. I miss that warmth next to me at night. I’d complain about it before but now I miss having my covers stolen by a sleeping woman.

It’s funny too, how when you get into a relationship they always end up stealing your clothing. My ex fiancée still has my favourite jacket and Chelsea scarf. My other ex has my damn sweater. They both stole my damn underwear because and I quote ‘Ohh these are so comfortable.’

Or did I give the underwear away? Remember what I said about love making you stupid. That’s the sad part really. You give pieces of yourself to them both literally and figuratively. Pieces that when they walk away you can never get back. Knowing that makes me hesitant to do it all again.

I’ve had to tell myself that my experience, although it seems vast to me, is actually quite limited. Also that I shouldn’t let the outcome of past experiences dictate future ones. Your baggage can end up hurting someone you care about. I have to go in with fresh perspective.

Keep your eyes and ears open but don’t expect them to act as their predecessors did, they are individuals. You just have to let them act and judge based on their actions. Only when you can do that are you ready to start another relationship.

Knowing what I now know, letting go of the past, having felt what I felt and experienced both good and bad, I would say I’m ready now. That and the fact that I can’t get mind off fucking. Suddenly my brain is hyper sexual. I find myself being distracted when I see an attractive woman. You know that automatic head turn?

It’s not a problem until I almost get ran over because I’m distracted by the woman in the shop with the amazing ass. I really need to do something about that as its becoming a problem. I find myself meeting their gaze and smiling at them too because what is the point of admiring her if she doesn’t realise I’m doing it.

It’s not just all that though. I find myself missing cooking together and showering. Those random passionate moments where she’s walking in the hallway and you’re staring at her ass as she walks then you grab her by the hips, turn her around and start kissing her.

I actually find myself missing the attention. I’m not sure if that’s sad or not. I could use something to smile about. I’m definitely craving someone. Love and lust are powerful things.

Having gone through those last two relationships I have to ask myself: How many times must I sell myself before my pieces are gone? This time I’ll do things differently.


This evening…

Posted in General Dumbassery, Useless information., women with tags on November 11, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

I’ve been bored this evening, you know one of those evenings where you have done everything that needs doing. You have all the options immediate to you but none of them a particularly appealing? Everything you really want to do is unavailable to you so you’re just lost…
I decided to write for this reason. I had a little smoke and a few drinks this weekend for the first time in a while and I felt it. Then I asked myself why I’m doing that. I finally worked out that I’m doing it to escape. Escape boredom that I can do very little about at the moment.

At least I enjoyed the alcohol that time. The other thing is that now I don’t have anymore tasks I can complete I’m noticing how lonely I am. I’m making strides socially but nothing concrete. There’s a lot of things I miss.

Without anything else to distract me I’ve thought about getting myself out there. I’ve resolved to treat it as I would any other task. There are multiple facets to the problems. Smaller objectives to be met. 



It’s been a while.

Posted in General, Misanthropy, People, women with tags , , , , , on November 9, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

I haven’t wrote in a while, I’ve been busy with the whole organising my life. I got so into it that I completed everything on my list. I have to wait for the next lot of objectives to roll out. I’m feeling better in myself and such. I hate to admit it but with my ex far gone I’m feeling less stressed than I have in a long time.

With everything I can possibly do already done all I have left is the long term objectives. I can only work toward those slowly. Where I went to task and burned through everything so quickly I am noticing the loneliness setting in. I’m compelled to meet people for what is probably the first time in my life. It’s a strange feeling.
Must mean I’m over her. Now I have to be honest and give an honourable mention to my ex fiancée. We broke up and it hurt but she’s remained a good friend to me. I can always vent to her and do the same for her. I have to thank her for that. I know she still reads this because she let it slip during a conversation previous.

I’ve met a few new people but we just chat, nice girls actually. One is going through a rough time and I’m using my misanthropic cynical super powers to guide her in a direction that is beneficial to her. She’s interested in some dude who is cold I personally think is a douche. Let’s see if he surprises me. For what little I’ve known of her she seems like a nice woman in a bad place. I hope her father pulls through, he’s sick.

Then there’s the other, this is one interesting woman. She’s an engineer, clever, funny, well educated and has a way with words. I’m actually quite attracted to this one. I have no idea where it will go but she likes me, I have yet to see how much. I could talk to this woman for hours and it amazes me that she doesn’t have more guys chasing her. Seems like a catch. Let’s see where this goes.

I’m slowly becoming more social. I’m stuck in London now and my ex is a myth so I might as well make the most of it. Funny that even now my bed still feels empty. I guess I could look at it as another problem to be solved. It just isn’t that simple though. Sure I could send a few messages and go get laid but yeah that’s not what I want. I’m after something more than a casual fuck.

I’m beginning to notice how bored I am, everything I was doing project wise has also ground to a halt for various reasons. I’ll just have to wait it out. Day by day it seems I have less and less to do until I am left with my own thoughts. I’m really starting to hate that.

That’s an update I think…


A sudden realisation.

Posted in General with tags , , , , on October 28, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

Today has been pretty boring. All tasks completed ahead of ahead of schedule. Everything is in order and ready for execution; no particular problems that need my attention. I’ve had a lot of time to think about nothing while doing nothing simultaneously.

I realised that for someone who has wandered around the world, deserts, mountains, cities etc. I don’t know much of my own back yard. I feel like I could quite easily make my way around a foreign land but here I feel like I need a tour guide.

I feel like a tourist, I don’t know the area, I don’t know the people. It’s strange really. I’ve never much felt at home here in England and I’ve always wondered why that is. That feeling was worsened by travel. Let’s face it I didn’t exactly have a package holiday.

Experiencing other cultures, other ways of living, has made some facets of my own seem pointless. I ended up learning and absorbing a lot. I honestly need to find someone who knows London better than I do. Someone who can show me any points of interest.


I wasn’t aware I was head chef…

Posted in Foods, Uncategorized with tags , , on October 28, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

A little early today I know but I’m waiting on food, the purpose of this post. It’s the end of the month, that wonderful period of first world poverty before the wages come in and go out again; paying all manner of bills.

In this specific incidence I’ve had to be creative with what’s in the fridge in order to provide everyone with an adequate meal. It turns out I’m now cooking three different meals, Thai sweet chilli chicken with rice, an alteration of the previous meal to suit tastes. 

For me it’s chicken teriyaki. It’s been such a long time that I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. It’s hard to enjoy cooking like I used too when I’m doing it almost every day. Sometimes I don’t even want to see food by the time I’m finished. At least I’m losing a few.

I miss when cooking was fun.



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