I’m sick.

Posted in General with tags , , on October 6, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

This is a pretty rare occurrence, took me by surprise actually. On a normal day I can (and have) spent 8hrs in a room with a friend who contracted swine flu. Managed to avoid catching it somehow, he had been to the hospital for it so as you can imagine it was quite severe.

Sickness is a part of life, it sucks but  your body usually gains from it in immunity. Other than that sickness sucks. When my mother realises we are sick with a cold or flu she will come at us with her citrine potion. It’s an old remedy, I’m not sure how old to be honest. This is what it contains:

Sliced oranges and lemons mixed with whiskey, honey and 7up/Sprite. I suspect the Sprite may replace some older ingredient. Simmer this for a while and drink it hot.

This citrus potion my mother forced on me as a child seems to work quite well. Then it’s time for another thing my ex fiancée would push on me. Ramen or chicken noodle soup. Honestly it’s about the only thing I can eat right now without wrecking my throat.

So my plans are to lie around with man flu complaining about said man flu and trying to find ways to abate this horrible flu. At least today I’ll have a day off my usual duties which is always nice.

Maybe I’ll write some, doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere for a few days.


Cancel the future. Learn from the past.

Posted in General on September 19, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

The last month was quite shit, I had expected my birthday to be quite the same but it wasn’t so bad. A few friends, BBQ, drinks, a little smoke and a good time. Anyway I’ll get to the point because this is only partially relevant to it. As a gift I got a beard trimmer. 

Now I’m a fan of beards but I did experiment when I was happy and didn’t give a damn about shaving. Even without growing a beard I’m very much a fan of the time it saves. Great gift, the other gift was socks. Birthdays and Christmas definitely change as you grow. 
As I mentioned earlier I’m looking at paying more attention to my appearance, attire, effects and all. If I’m aiming higher I need to look better. Of all the things I can say about my ex one of them is that I learned from her. Attire is an important part of success. I’ve always known it changed perceptions but I’ve yet to practice this.

Now is the time. New clothing, distinguishing effects. There’s a few other things that need to fall in line but money can’t buy those. My motivation is this: having experienced a much better life the my current climate is intolerable. I’m tired of it. I’m happy for what I have but it isn’t much, not even nearly enough.

For a long time I haven’t really been applying myself. And when I have my misguided attempts have me inserting myself into the wrong environments where my skills are not utilised. A lot needs to change. I’ve spoken of this many times but now I have a direction. A plan for that change. I’m tired of worrying about money and tired of nothing changing.

I need to begin travelling further into the capital where opportunities exist. Here none can be found unless I wanted to branch out into theft or drug dealing. A decent honest living is a myth here. As I’ve said so many times it’s a shit hole. I require greater social and economic mobility this place cannot offer me that.

If I apply myself I can succeed. I’m ready and my greatest motivation is changing my economic situation. I’ve realised that if you have money everything else will fall into place. I want to be able to have the funds to indulge myself. At the moment I’m eating crap and barely scraping a living. It’s sad and it needs to change.


Some nice acquisitions

Posted in cool stuff with tags , , , , , on September 19, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

Recently I treated myself, bought myself a gift to myself. Since everything failed so spectacularly recently and I lost a person of great importance to me I’ve not had enough fucks to give about keeling over from smoking related illnesses. Anyway I treated myself, it’s good to do that once in a while.

So I got myself a zippo lighter with Venetian patterning on it. It’s good quality and patterned in a way that it’s not tacky. It looks similar to this one, except that patterning is only on the top right and bottom left, smaller and more detailed.

The other thing was a gift. Chromium cigarette case which again looks pretty classy. It’s similar to this with and engraving. The letters read ‘PMC’ pall mall cigarettes maybe?
If I’m going to smoke I may as well invest a little in it.  I’ve gained a few new perspectives as to my attire and effects. If I’m going to look good I’ll have to do it properly. The cigarette case was a cool gift but I have no excuse for the zippo. I’ve just always wanted one and it was good deal.


A most immense hangover.

Posted in General Dumbassery, Unpopular Opinions., Useless information. with tags , , , , on September 19, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

Last night I ended up inviting some friends over for drinks. Nothing big or fancy just drinks and casual conversation. And today, well today, I’m suffering for it. I didn’t think I drank very much besides beers and some whiskey. It might be the fault of the copious amounts of marijuana we smoked? Either way I feel like death.

So yeah, here I am hung over as fuck and chemically reminded of why I decided to drink less a few months back. It was a decent night but this hangover is not worth it at all. My friend and lodger has left for the night to go watch a film and get laid, from what he told me he feels similar to myself. Everyone else is unavailable for whatever reason, so here I am. Alone again.

I brought myself a nice new coat for the winter when I was drunk last night. Good buy. I’m a talented personal shopper when I’m drunk. It’s just that usually I don’t have the money to spend. I need to grab myself some jeans tomorrow because honestly there is shit all else to do on a Sunday. If you’ve been reading for a while you’ll be aware that I detest Sunday.

I’m really stuck on what to do so I decided to write because I don’t do that nearly as often as I’d like to. On Monday its time to get my affairs in order, the lack of organisation or a solid plan is beginning to become irritating. I’ve finally been paid and I can’t wait to start job hunting properly.


Lad Culture.

Posted in Idiotic groups/people, People with tags , , , on September 16, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

This isn’t a new thing, just these idiots went digital. I’ve been irritated by these sorts since I first encountered them on nights out in the wild. Who uses the word squad to describe their group of friends? And what is it that makes a nando’s cheeky? 

The whole lad thing has exploded. You’re not a lad, you’re a wanker sunshine. 


a british phenomenon; beer chugging, banter loving, footie watching, womanizing man – a LAD.

Only three of the four are usually true. Honestly, this is what people aspire to be. I’m surrounded by these sorts ever since the whole lad phenomena began. A lad is easily spotted at the bar. Usually they’re wearing a football shirt and talking about football or taking the piss out of someone (read: Banter.)

Sometimes they can be found awkwardly attempting to dance and ultimately mate with whatever catches their fancy, all while attempting to show off to the other lads. It seems like a sad existence. You live for football, banter and the pub and I doubt there is anything you can contribute that is of any use unless I decided to go into betting on sports.

Luckily, seeing as I’m unemployed and stuck inside I don’t have to run into any of these idiots in bars or in the town centre. What happened to my generation? Or is it me? I’m not sure but I know there are more important things in life than talking shit, drinking, football. I’d rather make bank than waste my time on trivial things like those.

To this day I do not know what makes a Nando’s cheeky. My ex used to bitch that Nando’s wasn’t even Portuguese or close. She refused to eat there on principal. Maybe it’s cheeky because it masquerades as an ‘Experience’ and ‘Portuguese.’ It presents itself as a restruant when it is basically and upmarket chicken shop. Now that’s cheeky.


While I’ve got time to kill.

Posted in General with tags on September 7, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

It has been a long while since I last wrote anything. I had to focus on feeling better and between that, the job hunt and conflict resolution I’ve been quite busy. I’d say I’m better now. I feel it but I’m still stuck here and I’ll be immobile until I have some money in my pocket.

Freedom is great until you don’t know what to do with it. I’ve expanded my game collection to give myself something better to do. At the same time I don’t want to waste the summer sun. Looks like we may have an Indian summer so I may as well make the most of it.

Hopefully winter will bring better things. I’ve also got a very small amount of savings now which is nice. I haven’t really been doing much but I did discover a decent restruant/bar without all the usual detritus that are present in the local night life.

I’m currently cooking. Killing time while I wait for dinner. I thought I’d write something as it has been such a long time, or seemed as though it has. I still have my friend living with me, he isn’t working at the moment because his job became ridiculous. To cut a long story short, I would have left too.

So here I am. Seems like I’ve fallen back down the ladder to exactly where I started but life is like that sometimes. You can only get up and try again. And so I shall. It’s a shame really because I liked her a lot but relationships aren’t everything. 

I’d be out chasing or at least looking for an interesting woman but I think I’ve got a little self improvement to do before I go after another woman. At this stage I just want to chill, no stress. No fighting. Just relax and be me. Once upon a time I was zen, why not go back to that?

It was a better way of living. I miss the female company but yeah at the moment I just want to have fun, smoke some weed and enjoy myself. It’s been six months since I last had a good night out or day even. The last night out was right on time.

Just letting you know I’m not dead.


A most painful experience 

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on August 8, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

You would think it stupid, an innocuous task. An annoyance at the very worst. Maybe that’s why I’ve subconsciously been avoiding the task for some time, because I knew it would be painful when I saw them. Today it came to the point where I was forced to clean up my space. The place I live in, don’t get me wrong I clean regularly. The whole house but in my bedroom I seldom scratch the surface.

If I were to go much deeper than the shallows I would begin to find and see things. Lost parts of myself, people long gone. Flames that have gone out. Like a museum and a mirror all in one. It’s not the nicest of experiences. This time was quite different. Letters, gifts, notes, clothing, toiletries, plane tickets, pictures. The whole 9 yards. 

It was a most painful experience, I can’t say I’ve ever been made to feel so awful by an innocuous task such as cleaning but here we are. When I love someone I do it whole heartedly. I don’t love by halves. The unfortunate thing is it makes breakups a painful process. Not just losing a girlfriend, but a friend, confidante and much more.

 These things are a part of life. Doesn’t make them any easier. I’ve thrown away a lot of things. Broken things and parts of myself that have long been lost to time. One think that is certain is that the memories fade and faces blur. Time devours all things. In some cases those artefacts were the last pieces of a memory. Some things just have to be let go of, and there has never been a better time. 

The other thing I saw in the museum of me was all that I could have become. My potential, what was wasted was painfully reflected back to me. It really put into perspective my lack of plans and how many opportunities that have passed me due to my travels. It’s funny that all this time I still have an almost instinctual urge to escape London and England all together. It’s apparent that there is as little here for me as there has ever been.


Sadness is okay but not when it becomes all encompassing. That kind of sadness is destructive and not healthy for anyone. Of course I’m upset, I’m just more upset about my current state of being. Feels like everything went wrong slowly over the course of a few months. I’ve lost a lot in half a year, almost everything. I’m now free of it. No obligation to anyone or anything. 

Having freedom is great but I really don’t know what to do with it. I really need to find something to occupy me. I need money, friends and more women in my life. I think it’d be wise for me to spend the next few months working on myself and getting some sort of direction because at the moment I’m slowly going nowhere.

It’s gonna be a long few months. I’m just glad I won’t have to see that stuff again. People always talk about how this sort of thing is therapeutic. I disagree. It’s more like a wake up call. Blunt, abrasive, painful. Probably necessary. I need a direction because honestly I have never had one. I also need a job.



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