Archive for the How to lose friends and offend people Category

Bad Neighbour…

Posted in How to lose friends and offend people, Misanthropy with tags , , , on May 29, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST

Next door has been gutted and refurnished ready for thee new tenants after my neighbour was caught sub-letting and subsequently thrown out. I’ve had the fun of meeting the potential tenants. Yes, yes oh yay! Yesterday a potential tenant came who had a lot of kids. That could be an issue. I don’t want to have to watch my language and get noise complaints for five years only to have the kids screaming and all their friends over for the next five years after that point. I like my home, it is peaceful and I’ve lived here since I was three years old. In a moment of misanthropy I had an idea, I turned my anti-social tendencies and guitar amp up to max, put earplugs in then played a little harmonic to get them listening then the most horrible sounds for the next half an hour. They said it was too loud there for the kids (I could hear them through the wall.) After this they left.

I’m a terrible person but it worked well. Upsetting my domestic bliss is not the one.


The lost art of ripping into someone.

Posted in How to lose friends and offend people, Misanthropy, People, Relationships, Unpopular Opinions. with tags , , , , , , , on February 3, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST

I don’t know why but many of the people I know are way too timid bordering on sensitive, and no I’m not talking about my ex specifically in that statement, I’m talking about people in general. They’ll take the piss and not expect to be called out on it. Maybe it’s because it’s so unexpected that it affects people so badly. There comes a point where you’ve had enough and someone is just not getting the message that something they have done is not cool. Honestly to get anywhere today you need to know how to rip someone a new one when the time arises or people will believe they can walk all over you. It’s one of those give them an inch and they’ll take a mile situations. I love the double standard that exists where people think they can just shit on you and get away with it. Who knows maybe I’m wrathful. One of my many sins but you just don’t cross me, that’s all I ask. You respect me and you respect our interpersonal relationship and we’ll never have a problem. Despite my burning directionless rage I’m actually pretty laid back. Somebody even said I was a great person once!

One thing I will say is that ripping into someone is something you have to be very careful about, you can go too far. You have to make sure someone deserves it. Sometimes once you rip into someone your relationship will never be the same. This sort of action is extreme and should be a last resort. When I’m angry and hurt enough to actually rip into someone I become a real bastard and the only reason I get away with it is because what I’m saying to that person is the truth. The truth can be harsh at times. Believe it or not I’d like to not have to go that far with someone, especially someone I love. Sometimes though ripping into someone is what they need, especially in a situation where they’re being self-destructive out of grief or stupidity. Sometimes people really just need to hear that they’re being an idiot. As you can imagine, this man doesn’t have too many fans. I’ve been called an asshole, a heartless bastard, a prick among many other colorful expletives. It doesn’t bother me, if they didn’t deserve it I wouldn’t have opened my mouth. Sometimes people need to be held accountable. Violence isn’t the answer many times but words can be just as painful as a fist.

Sometimes people just need to be called out…

You’re upset?
Mission accomplished. This was supposed to hurt.
Now I feel like some asshole kung-fu master, pic related.

I think I might have anger issues recently…

Posted in England, General, How to lose friends and offend people, Misanthropy, People, Useless information. with tags , , , , , on October 1, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

I mean all considered it is understandable but that latent anger definitely isn’t helped by the various external stressors, like assholes waking me up before 8am and not being able to sleep properly. Then there’s the less subtle ones like that guy today that tutted at me for no reason, normally I would have walked on but today I asked him what his problem was to which he just stared at me, I promptly told him to fuck off. Then there’s the traffic and all the sociopaths behind the wheel on London roads. If the horn was a gun the roads would be lined with bodies. Seriously the way they use those things you’d think they were weapons. When you’ve had so little sleep that sort of thing gets to you. I’ve been somewhere between anger, apathy and nothing at all. I’ve been pretty good at letting things slide for a very long time but it looks like I’ve recently learned how to be angry and express it to other people around me without any sort of thought about the consequences. There has been more than one time this week where I’ve been ready to slam someone’s head into a car door. You could say I’m having a bad time. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going outside and starting trouble with people, everyone who I’ve had a confrontation with has tried to shit on my in some way or another and lately I’m just really bad at letting things slide.

I’ve really got to work on that…

It Was My Privilege

Posted in check your privilege, How to lose friends and offend people, Idiotic groups/people, Men, Misanthropy, Unpopular Opinions., women with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

I want to talk to you all about something that has been on my mind lately, well now its kinda burned into my mind. The image that is burned into my mind is not a good one. The issue is Feminism (I checked my privilege and capitalized it)
I don’t have a problem with women so don’t mistake this whole post for misogyny, I’m all for women having equal rights to men in every area. Wait why the fuck am I apologizing for myself. My mistake, silly me…

I was on Facebook lately and a friend of a friend of mine posted an article in from a well-known US news source, it was about women and their rights. I read it and didn’t agree with everything that was said in it. I especially don’t like the stance that every man is a rapist, so I commented on it. I was then accosted by the girl who posted it. Obviously a feminist. Before I get into anything (I’m not talking specifically about the individual involved) there is a point when feminism becomes radical and then there’s the sad point where feminism becomes misandry. These specific man hating feminists and some of the things they say and promote are completely ridiculous and they make feminists and feminism in general look like a joke, which is the exact opposite of what they want. These ‘feminists’ are why you ladies can’t have nice things. There’s a point when it just becomes war on the danglers in general and you don’t want equal rights but to take away the rights of men.

I think that a woman shouldn’t think every man is a potential rapist, don’t get me wrong I’m a fan of putting the fear of god in people to warn them of potential danger but it gets ridiculous at the point where all men are demonized for the actions of a few animals. The other thing I can’t stand is the cherry picking, its pathetic. You already have a point, no need to dress it up. Then the other thing is being told I’m privileged. Yes I’m white and male and I know that in years gone by this carried privileges but now days this is much less true and where I’m from we’re had multiculturalism and tolerance hammered into us while we were still to young to see color and creed. Where I’m from we’re united in our shitty environment and shitty situation as I said when you’re at the bottom rung of the ladder everyone is on equal footing. Telling me I’m privileged in any way because of the color of my skin or my sex makes me laugh. I invite you to come see where I live, you’ll see my point. We’re all equal in this shit hole.

Another thing is a feminist telling me how she has no rights or how she’s being oppressed… posting her opinions freely on social media, from her cell phone that she owns and paid for with her own money… need I go on?
Sure I recognize that women aren’t completely equal but there are women having their genitals mutilated in Africa, and women who aren’t allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, who can’t go out without the company of a man, women who are really oppressed, the women who jumped under the kings carriage for their rights were oppressed. So sorry you’re not top of the list. right now. Lets worry about the women who have been killed for dishonoring their families or that poor little girl in the news. That’s oppression and you don’t know what the fuck that is. And by god I hope you never do…

The worst thing is that even when you agree with a lot of their points they fuck it up for themselves by being rude or sometimes just plain crazy and for a lot of people it was shocking at first but now its hilarious to the point where feminists in general became massive targets for trolls, so yeah if you sit in your feminism 101 class and look to your left, then look to your right, one of those two women are likely to make you and your sisters look like a joke. You know what warms me the most, when a man and a woman just work together and not against each-other. I find with many feminists the target is the man and not the inequality and I can’t understand why they can’t be fucking polite. When I converse with someone I’m always civil but when you’re being shitty and rude because I disagree with some facets of your belief system, (You know the conspiracy to keep all women down?) That’s when I start being an asshole and you get a little wake up call. If you could talk to me, I may even be able to see your point of view. But no, there’s no moderation with them. I mean shit we’re not the enemy. Not all of us.

I don’t have a problem with the basic ideals of feminism but what I have a problem with is the feminists I’ve described here.
It has been my privilege.

Sunday 2: Ranted (R)

Posted in America, England, Foods, General, How to lose friends and offend people, Idiotic groups/people, London 2012, Love, Men, Misanthropy, Music, People, Technology, The Internet., TV, Uncategorized, Unpopular Opinions., Useless information. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2012 by MISANTHROPIST


It’s Sunday again and in a few hours, while half of Britain is violently masturbating to Songs of praise I will be fucking bored out of my mind as on any normal Sunday. The fact that Sunday is shit coupled with my fucking oven dying on me and having no money means that this Sunday will be especially shit, a Sunday of Sundays if you will. If my friend is busy with his girlfriend and my significant other is busy I am what is known as fucked.

I’m reviewing for you and myself what I can do tomorrow. The weather is shit which has never stopped me before but my friends are also shit which has stopped me many-a-time, so going out is a no. I have no money so anything involving money including eating a nice meal or getting drunk off my ass is out of the question. I began considering kicking children but alas there are none around and I’m told that it’s cruel and the screams are not of enjoyment but pain. The TV is a pile of wank as always. Why do you even have to pay to view it. It isn’t like there’s ever anything on unless you’re fond of jersey shore or shitty soaps that are, for some reason, a national favorite.

There’s fuck all to do except grill chicken, at least there’s the internet with all of it’s idiots, pornography and cat videos. What a good time that’ll be. I can watch porn while laughing at cats, give me a bottle of cider, some cheap cigarettes and fake designer clothes and I’ll just join the unwashed masses who have no idea what voting is let alone how to vote. The furthest ahead they can plan is to try to tell me they need a pound to see their daughter in hospital.

This man was obviously lying to me so I said if that was my daughter was hospitalized I wouldn’t be stopping to beg for change. I’d be hauling ass down to the hospital. By the way I’m not that much of a dick, I know he was lying because this is a regular thing. I straight away tell him to fuck off when he asks me for money nowadays.

I guess the point of this post is that tomorrow is going to be one hell of a shitty day. I’m writing this to reveal to you a microcosm of my shitty existence right now. If it wasn’t for the lucky lady who  puts up with my shit I’d have gone crazy a long time ago. I’d like to have kids but I’m really not ready yet but when I am and they arrive I’m keeping them far away from this shit-hole. I’ll tell them stories about it before bed and they’ll wake me up with nightmares about Burberry-clad chavs chugging liter after liter of cider and trying to ‘borrow’ a cigarette from you.

When the time comes and I have enough money I think I’m going to do something special every Sunday. Later in life I think I will take Sundays to do something special with my children. Their mother is going to make them go to church till they’re 18 as a sort of tradition until they’re old enough to make their own decision. Which is when I will turn them to the dark side. Nobody should have to wake up that early on a Sunday, not even god if he’s there listening. I might take them for ice-cream or all of us for a meal. We also agreed that our children will attend no church activities without their mother because I’m uncomfortable with the prospect of my children being molested. Misanthropy= distrust+News reports=No fucking way.

Since we’re on this subject, family life is different in America. At least in the middle class. I love how family will go out for meals. The American family is still pretty strong compared to here. I enjoy the closeness for the most part. It awesome that these people can and want to spend time together. It’s nice. I have no contact with most of my immediate family and all my extended family. I wouldn’t change that though. Coming from a lower class background I am instantly better off in America. The money goes further and family don’t need to live by the paycheck. It’s nice to be able to want something and have the change in your pocket to go get it.

If I don’t change it Sunday will forever be a shitty day in my mind, as soon as I have the power I will change that. It looks like my Sunday will be full of guitar. At least it’s productive. That and the company of the lucky woman who gets to hear my bitch about my day should get me by. This has been a weird rant and thanks for sticking with me through laughing, cringing or being outright offended. All this bullshit and I can’t even have a damn cigarette.

Arguing with idiots on Facebook, Part Deux.

Posted in How to lose friends and offend people, Idiotic groups/people, Men, Misanthropy, People, Relationships with tags , , , , , , , on August 22, 2012 by MISANTHROPIST

The other night I got extremely drunk on the nastiest alcohol that I’ve ever had the displeasure of putting past my lips, first bad move. Now the second should have been a no-brainer, I went on Facebook drunk. There was no emo status, none of the usual bullshit. I just thought I’d try to talk to that friend one more time, I offered a line for him to come and talk to me. Unfortunately this line was cast through some bitch that has his balls in her purse. I tried to be civil then she started acting like a bitch so I let loose on her. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she gets off easily. From this clusterfuck I present to you: Arguing With Idiots on Facebook, part two.


Hey ask steven if he thinks he can just man up and talk to me, I’m not shaun. I just want to talk, you know like men not bitches. I’d rather settle this properly. Couldn’t care if he never talks to me again. I just want an audience with agatha. Do you think you could ask him, he got things mixed up. Probably because he was drunk.

  • WP
    Look, I’m guessing the only reason your asking me is because your not getting an answer from him?.. As you know, if steggs don’t wanna do something, no one can force him :s I don’t know what’s up with you guys, but I’m not getting involved.. Sorry babe, but this is between you and him. Why don’t you just walk to his and bang on the door, can’t ignore ya then.

·  And steggs remembers everything when he’s drunk, trust me! He may act fucked, buut he’s remembered things in such detail at times it freaks me out lol

  • AM
    I’ve already looked. I’d rather salvage this shitstorm of a friendship before it goes to hell. I honestly couldn’t care if he never talks to me again but you have more power over him than you know. Ever been fucked up on alcohol and anti-depressants? I bet you haven’t. Anyway I understood. It doesn’t matter. Life goes on. I’m reaching out to you as a last resort. You know what’s up wren. I know enough about your relationship to know that he tells you what’s going on. His circle is getting smaller so I know he’s confided in you because lets face it who else has he got?
    I’d rather not involve anyone, just me and him. I’m not shaun I just want to talk to him but he’s passive agressive as hell and would rather ignore his problems than talk about them. That’s him. I just want to talk. I’d rather not get into bullshit. He may remember shit when he is drunk but alcohol and anti-depressants are a different thing. He thinks what he thinks, I know what I know. Whatever. Please pass this message on if he ignores it then it isn’t my problem, the ball is in his court. This is my last attempt at reparation or restitution. I’m not saying I was without fault. Anyway if he refuses this last chance then it is his own doing and you should probably leave me with a number because I don’t want to deal with him when he is coked up or otherwise. Anyways, thanks for talking to me.
  • AM
    It’s easier this way, at least for me anyway. Wish him a happy life for me. Tell him to get tested. Fucking ellie was a bad move, I wouldn’t want to know what STD’s she has. I just don’t want him dying before his time because of that skank. He did some dumbness. Please encourage him to get tested. Anyway, He never should have come inside her bareback. Please wren, get him to get his ass tested. Thanks for talking to me. I won’t bother you again.
  • AM
    Last thing, I know he can be a nob but seriously, Look after him. He needs all the help he can get. He’s like my little brother. Doesn’t matter if we’re arguing. I want him to be alright. Thanks. I won’t bother you again.
  • WP
    Firstly, yes I have been, try being 13 and having your stomach pumped after an overdose of anything in the medicine cabinet and a shit load of whiskey. So thank you for your assumptions, but you don’t know me well enough to comment.. And fine, I’ll mention it to him, but I know he’s gonna be more annoyed you tried to use me to get round him. I am not a toy, but because of the relationship you’ve had for so long, I’m willing to give it a go. However, do me a favour and keep your sarcasm to yourself, as if steggs does wants to talk to you coked up or otherwise you should snatch the opportunity presented to you, in any format it comes in, given he’s one of your oldest friends. And to be honest with you, I don’t think your in any position to talk about steggs’ social life or agenda, when you’re obviously biding for his attention at the moment, so try and be nice ay? I’ll message him now. After that, your on your own too…
  • WP
    And I’ve always tried my best at that. I adore that man more than people realise, and I’d never let anything happen to him when he’s with me.

He is a bit of a doughnut. I just don’t want him killing himself. He told me me more than you know. He’s supposed to be annoyed it’s the only way he will notice. My assumptions are based on fact. I comment whenever I feel. If I didn’t know enought I wouldn’t comment. Maybe you should watch what you tell him. In reality I don’t care, I know you’ll look after him. Why do you think I messaged you?

  • Ah you’re making assumptions now, not a good position to be in really. I don’t care about his attention. I care about his welfare in general. So yeah, once again, you’re very, very wrong. It wouldn’t surprise me if he is reading this over your shoulder right now. I’m not doubting your capacity as a friend. I just don’t want him fucking himself up. My sarcasm is just something you’ll have to deal with. If you can’t then we don’t need to be having this convo. I don’t have to be nice, just honest. Surely you’d expect that from your oldest friend. Our friendship is irrelevant, his welfare is relevant. I’m on my own, okay thats cool. I was okay with you, you mentioning the sarcasm means you’ve read his messages, which means you’ve talked. That was all that I needed. Thanks for that.
    Tell me did you mean biding or bidding?
    Anyway I couldn’t care, it doesn’t matter. You re-lay the message or you don’t. You really have no idea what I know do you?
  • AM
    Anyway, this conversation is over. You either talk to him or you don’t. Which is it?

Dude, I work for a fucking living and this shit woke me up, but I still fucking told him, so go fuck yourself. I hope it works out.. Now please, leave me outta this so I don’t get long messages of your shit? Go sort it yourself, not my problem. And I love how you mock my intelligence as if your smarter than me, I don’t doubt you are, but someone who’s on their fucking arse doing nothing all their life, and making their friends pay for trips ect?… Doesn’t sound like intelligence got you far, take it job centre isn’t paying out enough huh?


  • You work, so do most other people. That isn’t a surprise to me. And I love how you try to shove it in my face as if you put me in my place or something. Now that’s funny. Thanks for telling him. I am infinitly more intelligent than you, that’s for sure. You know jack shit, my intelligence got me further than an office job at the DVLA. Oh and mummy/grandpa got that little gig for you so you really don’t have license to comment dear. I don’t sit on my ass so that shows how little you know. All my life is an overstatement. He paid for that because he wanted too and he’ll get his money back. Again, how little you know. I guess a little office job at the DVLA is paying just enough for you to get by. Must be nice. You keep going with that, hope it serves you well. Job centre doesn’t pay well but it’s better than nothing when you’re looking for a job. Sorry it’s been 17 hours before I could talk to you, I had better things to do. Probably sounds rude but yeah I’ve got shit to do, I’d rather not waste my time arguing with you Et cetera. You’re not even half right about me and you’re less than funny. I was fine until you started trying to shit on me. I’ll admit, I’m not good at this, I’d rather talk to josephine personally and cut you out of the equation but it seems like you still have his balls in your purse so you’re the boss. Oh and 13 and getting your stomach pumped, it isn’t my fault you were an idiot when you were a kid, did you really think that’d pull some heartstrings? Like I’d feel sorry for you or something?
    It took you three hours to reply to a simple message, if it bothers you that much then why reply?
    Should have just said fuck off Et cetera. Seriously now, that ellie girl is a skank, have josephine get tested. Wouldn’t want him getting something nasty. It’s funny that I actually fooled myself into believing you were okay, my mistake. We all make those. Honestly I only talked to you because I was drunk and I felt bad about the whole steven thing, I don’t feel so bad anymore, this is all ripples from yesterday evening. Well whatever, this conversation is over. We’ve said what we need to say, now you don’t ever have to talk to the mean-nasty ever again. Thanks for your help, misguided commentary and little snipes that fall so far off the mark it’s laughable. Reading your little message was comical thanks for the hearty chuckle and the memories. Laters…

Oh and please stop sending me sims social shit Et cetera from your office or home or wherever. It’s fucking annoying. Must be a great job if you have time to fuck around on Facebook. Again it’s fucking annoying. Please cease and desist. Thanks. That’d be awesome. Don’t bother replying. Wouldn’t want you to waste your time. As I said before, this conversation is over.


Fine, your right, this is childish, but I don’t work for the DVLA. I haven’t for years.. And I did speak to steggs, it didn’t work. And it took three hours because I get up at 4 in the morning for work.And I finish work at 3.. Hence the Sims shit.. Get the fuck over it.


I don’t know about where you work. I really don’t take that much interest in you although it’s good you’re out of that line of work it must be boring. Anyway good luck to you. I’m over it. Laters. I’m not going to bother you anymore cause you probably have a long day ahead of you. I’m an asshole but I’m not that much of an asshole. Anyways josephine’s mind is made up. Aurevoir, Adieu, Goodnight and thanks for the help.


I will apologise for the format but give it a read, you might even get a good laugh out of it. After looking at all this I can’t help thinking, damn, I wouldn’t want to argue with me. I have a long history with this girl, one of mutual hatred and disgust. This was really therapeutic for me. I’m not even mad anymore. I lost a friend, sure. But I got to take a few shots at that bitch. She finally gave me a reason. That was all that I needed.

About that update.

Posted in General, How to lose friends and offend people, Idiotic groups/people, Men, Misanthropy, People, Relationships with tags , , , , , , , on August 22, 2012 by MISANTHROPIST

My good friend and I recently stopped talking, over some tobacco. What kind of friendship breaks over some tobacco?
Anyway tobacco was taken after he slept on my couch because he got drunk, had a bad night and decided to pop some antidepressants like a retard. I tried talking to him about it but he’s a passive agressive man-child who doesn’t have the balls to have a proper conversation about our situation. Anyways that’s done now, we won’t be talking again and I’m probably better off for it. It provided some decent laughs though, stay tuned for arguing with idiots on Facebook, part two. It has gotten to the point now where I don’t even want to talk about it. I’m just glad it is over. Why do I bother with people?

He came to my place to pick up his bass guitar and amp, waited for me to get it down the stairs, sat had a cigarette, then started arguing with me. As if I wouldn’t have given his things back to him. I mean, I’ve known the guy for 15 years. I’m an asshole but I’m not a douchebag. His slyness really got to me more than anything. I’m not even mad anymore. Screw that guy.