I was originally going to add this to the list on the previous post but I thought, hey, this deserves its own post.
Anyway, I’m about to set out on my mission for today, that mission that I have no choice but to accept is grocery shopping. I’d say food shopping but I’m pretty sure my readers are mostly americans so here goes. This is basically a run down of my journey and the idiots I deal with while undertaking it/ reasons I hate it so damn much.
I could kill with that frozen chicken you know.
First I leave my house, this is fine, I get ready, get some clothes on and the usual. At this point everything is totally fine. So I’m ready, I do my whole lock the house up ritual where I check everything multiple times in an OCD’esque fashion. I get everything locked down. Walk to my local shop, get my travel card topped up. There’s the Indian guy running it who drops change into your hand. What in the fuck makes you so special. You’re more likely to give me a disease than I am to give you one, other than that little annoyance this part is fine. I’ll usually go into the other shop to get a drink and/or whatever the hell I do so desire at the time. Here’s where it begins. I get the dippy as hell cashier who takes forever to do the simplest of tasks, if she isn’t talking crap she’s taking forever. I’m pretty sure she’s slow. Still she annoys the living crap out of me, as does her relative who is slower. Much slower. Confirming my suspicions that the cashier herself is a little slow. So yeah, you get it she annoys me. I wait for the bus with whatever riff-raff happen to be waiting for the same bus as me. They don’t talk to me, so this is a welcome break from the paranoid/racist indian and the slowest cashier in the world. I get on the bus, which I pay way too much for, where I am seated next to smelly, fat, annoying, loud, idiotic or just plain retarded people. I sit silently unless someone annoys me further at which point I will complain or move or both. I get off the bus after 10-15 minutes of utter bullshit being spewed forth from the jaws of total strangers. Classics include ‘Damn immigrants’ ‘They took our jurbs’ ‘My grand-daughter’ etcetera. If that isn’t enough I might have sat through some bad music or loud kids whom I’d like to dose with Ritalin. Anyways, after disembarking I have to push through crowds of ignorant and plain annoying people. This is much worse on market days.
I’ll walk to the shop/store. There I will grab my basket, walk around grabbing what I need while I circumnavigate a whole host of idiots mixed in with the scum of the earth. It isn’t that bad. I’ll walk to the counter, put everything on after a wait for another cashier who isn’t doing her damn job. Sometimes I get a retard who cannot use a damn till. Who needs her manager to come and correct her mistake, once that’s all over with they always ask the same question ‘Do you have a card and would you want one?’
The answer to this has been, and will always be no. I have been shopping there a lot, after about a year I think it’s safe to assume I do not want one. She knows my face so there is no excuse. At least by this point she’s doing her damn job. Then, even more fun pushing through idiots. Waiting with more idiots, only to get back onto a bus with more idiots and some frozen food/ old people. I wonder do they ever shut up, between their crap, the foreign conversations going on and whatever else usually I’ll put my headphones on to drown it out and just ignore people generally. Today I do not have my damn headphones. It’s going to be a real hoot. I’m feeling an argument today!
Another thing, there’s always one that’ll try to talk to you. The old ones aren’t to bad. Yes and no in the right places, they talk but don’t engage you in conversation which is great for me. The rest I just ignore, eventually they get the idea. I’ll even go as far as to put my bags or feet on the seat to keep them away. I get off after more of this crap and walk the 4 minutes home.
Shopping for groceries makes me even more misanthropic. Just to clarify.
I do not care about:
You, your family/ friends.
Your day, our country.
Your life or anything else to do with you, in short, I don’t want to hear it. Leave me alone already. The people I meet along this route are very annoying and the quicker I don’t have to deal with any of them again the better. It’s safe to say that I hate shopping. I really hate it. I’m ordering my shopping online from now on.
UPDATE: Well there were no arguments, just an annoying woman talking general crap while reading a low-end news paper. She was talking very loudly and I shot her the look of death and thought to myself, shut up and don’t even say anything or the next time you’re laying on your lawn drunk off your ass and your little 6 or 7-year-old son asks me to help you I won’t call the ambulance I’ll call child services.
When I say drunk off her ass, I mean in need of medical assistance drunk.
I had one guy asking me for a cigarette, I told him no and he still waited around for a minute asking. I just said no it’s my only one, which it was then told him to move along. Begging for cigarettes, if you can’t support your habit don’t smoke idiot. Then a strange moment, a little girl looks out of the bus window at the cemetery/ grave yard and says to her mother ‘I want to go there’ to which her mother replies ‘no’ and when the child asks why her mother had to explain death to this little girl. That is one hell of a responsibility, she didn’t lie, I respect her for that. She said ‘ When people die’ to which the child replied yes, she then continued to explain that when they go to ‘sleep’ in that delicate manner that they go there, into the ground. The child knew and understood. Without robbing her of her innocence she explained death to this little girl. I only hope I can be such a parent, it made me think of my future and when it’s me explaining this to my child.