Archive for January, 2016

So I’ve been sent to the wall…

Posted in Job hunting, Unemployment, Work with tags , , , , , , on January 24, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Remember the work experience, it turned into something called a Mandatory Work Activity. Keyword being Mandatory. I’m all good and ready to start work and to that end I have a few interviews lined up. Unfortunately the last I attended, with a guaranteed job, was a waste of time. The training was changed and I then realised I wouldn’t be able to make the first shift due to an 18km travel distance. 

Funny thing being that the agency it was set up by was first contacted through the job centre/UC itself. I knew it was too good to be true. Aren’t most things? Maybe my cynicism and general lack of faith have reached new depths. Either way it’s not important beyond the time wasted. Hopefully the next one is better right?

I attended the MWA meeting which was pointless basically a registration where no documents were required beyond signed ‘agreements’ something, something illusion of choice. We were told they didn’t even know what we were going to do, they just made vague allusions towards charity shops and such.

Here is where it gets interesting, I’ve been put in some kind of forest. 100 acres of woods. I’ve been instructed to bring everything I need because there are no shops around in a while. I had forgotten this place, my grandmother lived out here. She warned us of adders and the general dangers of dicking around Inna woods. I haven’t been there since I was a boy.

I was surprised to learn we have sequoias in England. I had only previously known of the ones in California. I definitely didn’t think we would have them in the UK. A quick Google search confirms my suspicion that this isn’t a natural occurance and they were transported via ship as seeds long ago. Still that’s actually pretty cool, they’re a beautiful tree. 

So I’m in the middle of nowhere which probably sounds stupid to Americans or Europeans on the mainland but to me that’s the middle of nowhere. They sent me to the nights watch. I still have no idea what I’m doing but at least they pay my travel. This might not turn out so bad. I guess it turned out pretty well considering the alternatives. Youth work or charity shop.

I’m just wondering about the weather, what I’ll be doing, the ridiculous travel distance every morning and evening and that’s without the traffic going back into outer London. Going to catch everyone and their mother coming too and from work every morning. Fact is I have very little idea where I’m going beyond a bus route and some vague childhood memories. It’s going to be a party. 

Let’s look at this for a second, when I received the letter it said it was mandatory because it will give you skills and experience relevant to getting a job. False. The reason I say this is because the type of employment I’m attending is very specific and has very few transferable skills. The other issue is that these jobs don’t just come and go, usually you’re in for the long haul so it isn’t like there will be a related job available any time in the near future. 

They also told me nobody there is getting paid, I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a barefaced lie. Someone is getting paid. I doubt that equipment is donated, somewhere someone is getting paid. There was no need to lie about that. Were they trying to make us feel better about being a source of free labour?

Anything job centre related is bound to be a clusterfuck. The only good points are the lack of people and reimbursement of travel. The rest is going to be an absolute shitshow.



This killed me…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 14, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

At least one out of three is going to come true…

90’s Kids.

Posted in The Internet. with tags , , , , on January 14, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST


See I found this dag…

Posted in animals, Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 13, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

I came home from a largely fruitless visit to the job centre and found a dog in my neighbours garden. Little under a year old and shivering in the cold, we had a very cold night before so he must have been freezing. We coaxed the beast into my house with ham. It took a good twenty minutes to get him to trust us enough.

We got him in, made a fuss of him and tried to feed him, warm him and calm him down. After we were successful in doing so I ventured out to look for someone searching for their lost animal. I found nobody, no signs, not a trace of anyone looking for him. I had a feeling I had seen him before though.

I went around asking, now I’m careful about this because of people using them for baiting, I eventually found he had been running around all morning and nobody had bothered grabbing him. My other neighbour mentioned that she thought she saw a dog the night before but was ultimately unsure and therefore didn’t bother to investigate further.

I had a vague memory of seeing the hound before but I couldn’t place where. When I finally got it down and discovered where the potential owner lived, I was greeted at the door by a barking dog meaning I was wrong. To my credit their dog is almost identical to the one I found.

The dog was a mixture of Staffordshire bull-terrier. Very well behaved for such a young dog. Probably only half trained. He was also spayed and I thought I felt a microchip. I though he was owned considering all that. We ended up keeping him all night much to chagrin of my cats. In the morning I would endeavour to track down the owner or at least find out where the beast came from.

The dog in himself was very well behaved and a pleasure to host. I’m the morning I wondered about calling a shelter but I’d rather not get him killed by trying to help him find his home. I instead opted to take him to the vet and have his microchip or assumed microchip scanned. I ended up being correct. The plot thickens however.

He had been rehomed and the original owner was aware he had gone missing, meaning his owners were looking for him. A good sign. We had considered keeping him if nobody came forward. His presence made me realise that I missed having canine company.

Due to the data protection act no information on the owners was given to us but the local authority (who did something right for once) came to collect him and assured us he would be reunited with his owner and if not they could re-home him and they never put a healthy animal to sleep. This little fucker was beyond healthy.

We offered to take him if nobody collected him, I have a feeling they’re looking for their dog and are going to be happy to hear that their dog is available for pick up. I did a little Ace Ventura. Kept my mind off the job centre thing.


500 posts…

Posted in General, Useless information. on January 13, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

501 officially.

Seems kinda important. Who has even been following for that long? I must be interesting someone. I’ve been writing for so long, I probably need a life or something. When I think about the contents of this blog I wonder if I’m interesting or you’re all sadists…

Only time will tell. Thanks for reading.


Update on the work experience situation. 

Posted in Job hunting, Unemployment, Work with tags , , , , on January 13, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Remember what I told you about life being chaotic for me? 

I went to attend my first day of the work experience as directed. Unfortunately I am unable to attend this work experience due to an issue with my attire. I regret the opportunity to record my experience.

I never explained the reasoning for my initial rejection of the offer. First and foremost is that I dislike the idea of working for nothing, I have experience in other areas so this was not absolutely necessary for me. Call me Servus, right? 

The second is this. I gained some festive weight. Shit happens. My trousers didn’t fit me. Any of them. Smart dress was a requirement and she was informed of this beforehand. She suggested that I ‘Find a pair.’ 

We put a lot into our Christmas so January is always tight. I couldn’t borrow money from home. I still don’t know anyone here, honestly I don’t care to at this point. Anyone I did know couldn’t lend me money. We don’t live in Chelsea.

Despite all this she sent me anyway, I attended. They rejected me. I was naturally wondering if I’d be punished for a combination of poverty and weight gain. Who has money 4 days before payday anyway? Nobody I know, that’s quite sad in itself.

I wasn’t punished and managed to send an email which kinda checkmated her if she did decide to punish me. I spoke with a few representatives in advance telling them I didn’t have the required clothing. 

So basically I covered my ass, even went there a day early to discuss with a manager who was unfortunately in the hospital. Notice the difference? I’m not a monster. She didn’t sanction me in the end which was a relief.

However no silver lining is without some degree of fuckery. As a guesture of good will I mentioned that I was always willing to attend the work experience which is true because I had began to see a possible benefit. I’d rather do something that has solid results. Like, you know, get an actual job.

She decided to put me on another that lasts four weeks. It could start any time in the next fifteen days. That occupies a fare portion of my money that, they say, should be reimbursed. Receipts for everything will be retained, even for lunch. I will get my money back. 

Hopefully it won’t be so important because the job I’m looking at currently is in clinical setting. I have to apply to it tomorrow. I can’t wait to be rid of the job centre forever. As its January and they’re hiring around my pay date I’m going to be doing everything humanly possible to find a job.

Maybe you’ll still get those posts. Either way, if I can’t find a job soon the placement is unavoidable…

Wish me luck…


Belly of the beast/ Choatic life/A magical place…

Posted in England, General, General Dumbassery, Job hunting, Unemployment, Work with tags , , , , , , , on January 11, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

To tell you the truth I wasn’t going to write today. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been preoccupied lately or I just couldn’t be bothered. For whoever is reading, I do enjoy writing because it’s an outlet. My life isn’t a party. I’ve had some great experiences but I haven’t made bank. 

All that said I have missed writing and I have posts on specific subjects in the works as you read this. I really should have prefaced this post by making a note that I recently tried to get my life in order. For the most part it worked, things have improved. 

I’m much happier than before. This isn’t all silver linings however. Once again my life is absolute chaos but we have plenty of time to get into that later. The most recent fuckery is this:

As you are aware I’m looking for work. I’ve been out on work experience. Guess where? I’m working at the job centre… See what I’m getting at? If you’ve been reading for a while and know my history dealing with these people you’ll also know that there is no way I would ever do this without some degree of coercion on the part of the job centre or their employees.

On one hand this could be a terrible experience and on the other this could be very entertaining and prove great material for a post, or many. It’s been a fuckery from the get go and I have a feeling it’ll only get worse as the days go by. The job centre in question isn’t located in the most savoury part of London.

Whatever the case is with my experience I’m looking to make some record of it here. For entertainment and future reference. I would be happier if the experience rewarded me with something feasible. If it helped say get an interview that would be amazing. 

Being entertained by the experience and having material for my blog is a reflection of how low the bar has been set. In truth anything above that would be surprising and anything below it will be good awful. I’m trying to enter this experience without bias which, in all honesty, is next to impossible.

I cannot prepare my brain for the wonders of the job centre… Somebody get me a drink…