Archive for the Alcohol Category

I wouldn’t call it a post…

Posted in Alcohol, Business, England, Foods, Legal, Misanthropy, People, Unpopular Opinions., Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Hey all, I was recently informed that I haven’t written in some time. To be honest I let it slip, it ¬†wouldn’t be the only thing but somehow I’ve managed to keep a hold on the most important things. My job is stressful, you might say welcome to the real world but this job goes above and beyond.

I guess that’s what has me paid so well but all this effort is nothing if my client isn’t serious. I’ve become more cynical in order to weed out the bullshitters, to be honest I fucking hate my job. I might aswell get an education and move to the top rungs of the food chain. Either that or I just become a police investigator.

I haven’t been doing so well because of people wasting my fucking time and my work place filling with idiots who dilute the quality work of my team. When I’m briefing lawyers I do it professionally. I understand the code of conduct and standards set and wouldn’t be briefing them if I wasn’t sure. The fucking newbies have fucked it up for everyone.

I guess I can’t blame it on them entirely. Management and training, to be honest I’m not sure how you would train someone for this? I wouldn’t fucking recommend it either unless you were thinking to become a private investigator, educate themselves in civil law. I feel like a low budget Sherlock Holmes saying that.

I was specialising in medical negligence and negligence in the work place, in my eyes these are clean. Very difficult to fake, I take no pleasure in suing a hospital believe me. When two idiot RN’s lift a client with a spinal injury and paralyse them for life I feel like I have done my client a service. I try not to take on anything else because I like to help people that have genuinely been injured.

I fucking hate the term whiplash, a name for diagnoses of a number of symptoms specific to a car accident. How easy do you think it is to trick a doctor, as long as you’ve had the crash and point to your boo-boo I wouldn’t blame the doctor for thinking it, after all it’s consistent with crash injuries. My point being that public falls and road accidents are easily faked.

I don’t personally feel comfortable with that. I’m trying to help people, not help them commit fraud. I use investigative questioning the moment a clients story doesn’t add up, there are certain indicators that someone is lying to me. For that reason I only like dealing with certain cases. Then the newbies go fuck it up for everyone. Fuck me. I guess I don’t hate my job but a sequence of unfavourable events has made our lives harder collectively.

Basically I hate my job, if not for the money I would be gone. I’ve been thinking of doing it freelance. I could deliver better quality service on both ends and a few people a month could support me, I’m not interested in money beyond my own survival and I always put my clients interests before my own both legally and financially speaking.

My ex boss and mentor once said that I ask more questions than anyone else who has been there. I feel a need to understand the ins and outs of the service I’m providing. I miss that motherfucker but I can understand why he left, even I want to leave. I’m doing well but it isn’t stable. I have plans for the future beyond this place. As I said before I would burn to leave this place, luckily I have principals?

Consider this an update, I hate my fucking job. Money doesn’t make you happy but fuck me is it easier. My world is far from stable however I do enjoy the luxuries I never had, it’s not on credit, imagine my bank balance between lovely meals, alcohol and high grade cannabis. I’m working to get all that under control but shit my work day doesn’t help. All in all I’m doing well.

I took time off this month and it felt almost alien, I didn’t write or do anything but sleep and get fucked up, I don’t get to do that much or much of anything when I’ve finished work I want shower, spliff and bed. Tonight I didn’t even get to shower. You get the idea. It’s not glamorous but I like the raincoat and suit, liaising with clients, outwitting the institutions that seek to fuck them and giving the wolves a scent.

The fucking people I work with are a joke, I genuinely like at least 5 but other than that I’d rather not. Fuck management too, they’re shit I lost faith in the ability of the boss after she provided the most retarded solution. I can’t even get into that but it’s embarrassing. I have some admiration for our matriarch, she’s been at this longer than I’ve been alive. In many ways I’m glad she’s not my boss because I can learn from her I don’t have to go against her like I do my manager. Her advice is priceless as far as I’m concerned, we have a level of respect for eachother in areas we are knowledgable and that’s not something I can say for my manager.

I hope this was enough for anyone who was waiting for an update I can’t say I’ve had requests but I’ve been asked why I haven’t posted. Honestly I had to remind myself but I could do with a constant seeing as everything else slipped between the job.

This is for you, you know who you are because you were the one who reminded me to post. You’re doing great man, it’s not easy I know because I’ve been through it. It’s not comforting but their face fades and you forget the sound of their voice before that. Eventually it all fades, it’s a cut off point and I think you’re doing much better than I did in your position. I always have time for you just get ahold of me. Rarely are break ups so clean cut. Your conscience is clear, you’re good man and I understand what you’re searching for.

So uh, hey you guys… I need to sleep now. I didn’t check any of this before it was posted. I’ll do that later.

-Misanthropist.

Silly boy.

Posted in Alcohol, Smoking with tags , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Everything is done barring the dinner. Now I remember that a few years ago, at the height of my debauchery, I drank and smoked my way through the flu. This is not a recommended course of action but it did make me feel better. It worked or at least it felt like it did…

So here we are again years later, financially better off, with the flu and here I am considering the same course of action because honestly I am done with the flu right now. This course of action will certainly relieve my suffering in the short term and any lasting effects can be blamed on my illness.

I might as well enjoy my day. All I’m doing now is that weird thing that women do where you don’t have the funds but you’re shopping in advance.

Fuck it, here I go again.

-Misanthropist 

The moment of clarity.

Posted in Alcohol, General, Job hunting, Smoking, Unemployment with tags , , , , , , on October 27, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

It’s been a strange few days for me, I’ve had a strange degree of clarity regarding my current situation. Maybe it’s that I haven’t been drinking and my tests came back fine. Maybe it’s because I’m not stressed with a relationship? (I loved her a lot but believe me you have no fucking clue.) I don’t know but I’ve arrived here.

You know the self improvement stage after a relationship ends? The one I probably should have reached months ago? I’m finally there. I don’t know if it’s the sheer amount of caffeine, lack of alcohol or whatever but suddenly I’m hyper aware and hyper-motivated.

That’s probably the reason I’m awake at this hour and still active. I always did enjoy the night. I’ve spent the evening organising my life which I’ll get into in my next post. I’ve been eating a lot healthier and I’m back to smoking the ecig because the financial and health benefits seem like a no brainer.

I miss her, I really do. Every time I see a plane overhead I wonder if she’s on it and I wonder if she thinks about me. Then I steel myself with the assurance that none of it matters. I’ve learned many lessons from that woman, both good and bad. I intend to use them to my advantage.

I’m not sad so much as determined now. I don’t have time for sadness and self pity. To paraphrase Palahnuik:

This is my life and it’s ending one moment at a time.

I’m also noticing other women a lot more, I guess I’m craving physical attention. It’s been a while. I’m mainly focuses on myself and organising this cluster fuck. I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m definitely open to the possibility.

I remembered today that I was always more of a smoker than a drinker. It makes more sense to drink less and buy better alcohol for my enjoyment. I’ve always preferred smoking cannabis. It’s a nicer evening. No stupidity, negative emotions or hangovers. I’m going to smoke more than drink but even that must have limits.

On the subject of drugs, I really miss acid. I really want a woman I can do that sort of thing with, it’s an intense emotional bonding experience. I’m also really getting into black coffee again as a matter of preference.

I’ve found myself a few decent job vacancies I have to apply for this evening. I really need to get off universal credit. As a general rule I would not buy a console or game until such time has passed that all bugs are worked out. Universal credit is still in beta it seems and as you’d expect it is a complete cluster fuck.

I need to get off it as soon as possible. In short, I’m doing much better. This moment of clarity was absolutely vital. I’m enjoying sobriety, this is going to have to be a regular occurance. Vice is vice but it must be controlled, I really don’t feel comfortable with the concept of becoming a complete wastrel.

-Misanthropist.

A man walks into a bar…

Posted in Alcohol, Uncategorized with tags , , , on July 26, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

  

Already pretty faded from San Miguel and smoking sessions with my friend. I walked to the bar paying attention to the cute Ukrainian bar maid, then ordered a Czech Pilsner because it’s what I used to get at the bar with her. You can tell what kind of night this is already can’t you?

It was something like that scene where the ship is sinking and the captain orders out his finest alcohol for his last drink. After I’d ordered the drink we went to sit down outside because their beer garden has a sheltered area. The monsoon came to London yesterday. I spent a majority of my day soaking wet.

We had actually tried to catch some live music at a different bar but nothing was on yesterday so having already traveled a few miles on foot and sat down for food we decided we would continue up to our usual haunt. We ended up being there for the best part of an hour, we got bored and left. It was the way home that things got interesting.

In my haze I thought that mixing monster rehab with vodka was a smart idea. You can tell how wasted I was because I never drink vodka. I also decided a cider would be a good idea and eventually the intoxication got to me causing me to vomit. In retrospect I don’t know what the fuck I was doing because I wasn’t enjoying it.

I think I was out for self destruction, trying to melt myself down because everything had gotten to me so badly that I wanted to be destroyed. Maybe then I’d sleep and stop thinking of the things that bother me. I remember passing out when I got home but still feeling no better than I had when I went out.

The entire night seemed like a waste of time and energy, I remember feeling bored and as if nothing of value had been achieved. I wish I had just stayed at home. I sent half a dozen messages that night and accidently sent my picture message about how fucked I was too the wrong person with pretty hilarious results. I’d sum up the night something like this…

  
I didn’t suffer a hangover, just a severe case of what the fuck am I doing…

I’ve spent so much time upset I’ve forgotten how to laugh or have fun or even relax properly. I literally can’t enjoy myself anymore. Only today am I actually trying to do so.

-Misanthropist. 

Wrecked Again!

Posted in Alcohol, Brazil, England, General Dumbassery, Useless information. with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 17, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

  

I’ve been meaning to post the last few days, Monday was an absolute haze. I was enjoying the weather with a beer and the sun baked me. By the evening I was absolutely wrecked, I’m not sure I could formulate a sentence let alone an entire post.

That was all made worse by the fact that people decided to leave the house for female hair related fuckery and nobody thought to take those wonderful pieces of metal which we use to open doors! They returned at gone midnight. Nobody needs to be up that late if they are tired and have work in the morning. 

Then to make this day even worse, I get a little soft under the haze of alcohol and cannabis and think that a nice friendly chat with the ex is a smart idea. That descended into a debate, she’s never been good at those. Especially when she’s on the backfoot, she decided she’d go. So there I am at 1.45am on the morning before work. Alone and thoroughly pissed off. 

(This came to mind.)
  
Lovely hangover I woke up with, self inflicted of course. I crawled into my work clothes after my coffee and cigarette. Proceeded to slam down an aspirin and roll a joint then I headed to work.

Due to my lack of anything to do my Mondays have become an extension of my weekend. 4 day weekends are not something I can complain about. I lead a charmed life, I know. I really need to use my Mondays more productively. 

I’d use this time to learn something but I find myself terminally disinterested in anything at this moment in time. On the other side of the free Mondays coin I seem to be the only person who doesn’t work on that day. There’s also the point that the only thing to do around here is the pub. 

I’ve been considering taking a day for some time but first I’d have to have money and secondly a plan. One thing that my ex never understood was my need for a plan. We don’t have the same mobility here as she does. Also in comparison to Brazil, the place I live in is rather dead. No carnival, no live music and the women/people in general aren’t as warm.

In England there are good times and bad times… But mostly shit times. Until I can figure out something to do looks like I’ll be wrecked again. 

-Misanthropist.

I haven’t been writing too much.

Posted in Alcohol, Brazil, England, General, People, Work with tags , , , , , on March 8, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

There’s not many excuses for my lack of posting, I have a four-day weekend and I’m not doing anything in particular on my off-days. I’ve noticed my alcohol consumption increasing rapidly, which is something I should really take control of. In the last week I’ve been drinking some amount for six out of the seven days, it’s not clever. I need to sort that out. As far as work is concerned I’m doing great, I’ve been there three weeks or so and I’m already the fastest on the floor. I’ve learned more in my three weeks than anyone else has in their twenty years running, I’m something of a record holder. I guess that means I was worth hiring. If I keep on I’ll be going up. Record Store day is around the corner, that’s gonna be a busy few weeks leading up to it I’m told. Not looking forward to that.

As you can see from the mix and matched content of this post I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’m posting because I feel I should, you see, I have all these great ideas for posts during the week then I pass out from exhaustion and forget them. That’s really beginning to piss me off. On another note, it looks like my partner’s father isn’t into the idea of paying for her to be educated in my country so I’m left with a choice, I either break it off with her and mark it down as pointless or I eventually move to Brazil. It matters to me, she matters to me so it looks like I’ll be doing the latter. Do any of you remember when life was simple?

I’m getting that iPhone tomorrow, finally. I’ve waited long enough. On that note I have noticed a trend, as your capital goes up your patience decreases. I could wait for that phone and get it for a great price or I could just go spend the extra and have it now, in other words I’d be paying because I can’t be bothered to wait. The same goes for people, now I work I have less patience for people’s shit. I guess I come off as being an asshole or obnoxious but I really have no time for it. I guess this is one of those random update posts, anyways I hope you enjoyed it.

You, Me and LSD.

Posted in Alcohol, Brazil, General Dumbassery with tags , , , , , , on September 9, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST
I'm off to space

I’m off to space.

One night in early August me and my current girlfriend were very bored. She suggested we try some acid we got from a friend of hers on a previous night out at a bar. I’ve not really messed with acid before but when you’re stuck at home, bored and looking for an experience why the hell not? I wouldn’t go recommending everyone try it, my experience of it was a good one. Yours may differ. We dropped the acid quite late into the evening and for the first 20 mins I just had a nasty taste in my mouth. I’m not exactly a stranger to drugs, medically speaking or otherwise but this was something quite unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and totally different from what you might come to expect from the various portrayals you’ve seen in the media.

Where was I when the acid kicked in? Reading Reddit’s /r/worldnews, one of the only subs I bother with anymore. I was reading about the current situation in the middle east. Then suddenly we got to talking and everything was funny, I’d say I spent about half an hour laughing before any real hallucinations happened. After a while we tried to reach the roof of her beautiful apartment complex, as luck would have it the elevator was mirrored. That coupled with the feeling of motion must have freaked her out a little. I immediately realized it was hard to recognize my own face in the mirror which I had expected due to the well-known dissociative effects of lysergic acid diethylamide. We stayed on the roof for sometime until it got cold and she calmed down to the point where she was ready to tackle the elevator again.

We travelled back down into the area we had designated as ‘the safe place’ comfortable and familiar enough not to send us tripping again. One thing I learned about acid was that if you think the trip is over it probably isn’t. After some more time I went to get a shower which was by all accounts a mistake. We must have sat in that shower for almost an hour while I watched my hand slowly melt with the water running off of it. Getting out of the shower was just as interesting when I gazed upon her bright pink towel and the room became bright pink in its entirety. This, I’d say, is where I began the most intense part of my trip. My perception was completely skewed with everything changing between being miniature then much bigger than usual.

One thing I noticed with acid is that it is important to remind yourself it’s just an acid trip, your mind can really wander and create visuals within an instant of you thinking about it. One piece of advice I will give you is that if you’re in a bad place avoid acid. A bad trip can really scare you and it isn’t something that is over quickly, this can go on for six or so hours. I’d also say that company is very important, don’t do acid with people you don’t know or trust. My visuals weren’t restricted to the ones I have mentioned. The curtain seemed to breathe, I saw shadows and faces in the windows that would disappear from the periphery of my vision

yCPSwcV

Toward the end of the night, once that nasty taste had died down and I was nearing the last few hours of my trip, I came to the best part of my experience. I’d drank some beers with her and we were out smoking when suddenly I was just watching her smoke one of my cigarettes. She looked really beautiful there in front of me, the cigarette smoke seemed to dance around her and all I could do was watch in the dark of that early morning. We then went to lay in bed in the dark, with some atmospheric music playing, I can’t quite remember but I think it was Japanese Zen music which added quite nicely to the trip.

We then lied in bed just cuddling and touching each other’s faces and bodies. At that moment I remember feeling a real closeness. I don’t know if it was the acid but at that time she was easily the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. This went on for sometime until I remember drinking a last beer on the balcony while smoking a cigarette as the sun came up casting vivid blues and pinks over the horizon. For the first time in years I’d witnessed something mundane and truly found beauty in it. I went back to bed after that and finally fell asleep with my arms around her somewhat exhausted. All in all I’d say I very much enjoyed acid and would do it again. The whole experience was something quite surreal and even slightly scary at times but totally worth it.

Well that was a trip and probably the most intense and heavy high I’ve ever experienced.
-Misanthropist.