Archive for the Job hunting Category

Here I go again.

Posted in Business, England, Job hunting, London, Love, Unemployment, women, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

About a week back now I applied for a job but instead of sending your average CV and covering letter I pitched. I started my old job in a sales position and went up from there. Everyone has to start somewhere right?

This summer: he was a salesman but the only thing he couldn’t sell… was himself. 

It’s a shit movie that either stars Rob Schneider or Will Farrell. Anyway, back to the point. So instead of the application I pitched him with ways I could improve and promote his business. I was pretty stoned and drunk if I’m honest and it was a shot in the dark. I never expected a reply.
I didn’t check my email for a number of days afterwards. I woke up one morning to the sound of my phone buzzing. I didn’t answer it right away and received a text shortly afterwards. I answered this message maybe three hours later and received another call. 

I answered this one. We had a short conversation during which I treated him as an equal rather than a potential employer. I asked him questions about his business. Extensive questions really, I wondered if I had been too forward but he was eager to talk to me.

Three days after the application he received my CV and I had a phone call within minutes. It went from a job application to a business meeting in a very short time. We arranged a time and a place. Liverpool Street, London. 

I attended the meeting and we sat down for drinks that he paid for. We discussed his business plan and marketing strategy. He was throughly impressed by my contribution and I now have a job with salary, bonuses and part ownership of the business. A small percentage but it’s a start. 

It’s funny really. I found myself again, like Ouroboros, exactly where I started. Outside dirty dicks in Liverpool Street. Where I had been staying with the Brazilian girl two years ago. I went in for a beer to celerate my success. It felt strange. I half expected her to come out of nowhere.

We walked down these roads together. I saw the ghost of her, the streets we walked and where we shared our first kiss. It was a strange feeling. If  we ever ran into one another again I’m sure it would end in one of two ways: fuck or fight. Still a part of me wanted to see her there.

So here I am, awaiting the paper work. The contract will be signed within a week. The business is vaping by the way. I’m getting part ownership with zero financial risk. I can’t complain about that. I still consider the man my boss as it’s his money and without him I’d still be up shit creek without a paddle.

God today has been weird. I have slept three hours in the last 48 and not eaten a single bite of food in the last 52 hours. Maybe that’s why I miss her suddenly. Maybe it was nostalgia. I don’t really know. Wherever gatinha is I hope she’s happy now. Jesus fuck I’m getting sentimental. 

I’ve never been so sad to be successful. 

-Misanthropist. 

Hard ball. 

Posted in Job hunting, Work with tags , , , , , , on November 13, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

I received a phone call last week from an ex colleague. She was telling me about an opportunity in the way that an MLM might pitch to you. Felt sorry seeing me at a jobcentre and such. Obviously I’m skeptical when someone offers me an ‘amazing opportunity.’

It became clear that it wasn’t her opportunity to offer. Another ex colleague had set up his own company, the same industry and she was offering me this opportunity and not the man himself. That’s enough to make you wonder. I got all the basic information out of her.

I proceed to play hard ball with her after she informs me it’s commission only. I’m not about that life. I told her I would accept 1000pm basic with 80% of the commission states but I was willing to go down to 70%. 

Be advised I’m not a complete asshole. I mentioned that if he salaried me I would help in whatever way I could. Admin etc. Also over time whenever required, paid of course. Saying all this it isn’t her call. It’s his. I could contact him myself and he could have contacted me so I’m confident he didn’t make this offer.

I know that she got caught attending a meeting with the other colleague who is fronting the money for the venture that she is attempting to involve me in. She’s currently experiencing disciplinary action as a result. My old company went pretty totalitarian from what she tells me, if indeed she told the truth. 

I take what she says with a grain of salt even if what she said was 70% true, I can’t respect someone like that enough to take them at their word. You’re basically pitching to me… I’m playing hardball. I called you out and you leave me telling me to text you if I’m interested because the decision was never your own.

Sweetening your new employer. I’m not your bargaining chip asshole. If you want me on board you pay me. I don’t do business with people like that. You present yourself as honest, to an idiot you seem honest but I’m not an idiot. He needs to contact me directly if he wants me on board. 

She’s been so loyal to the company, like a dog almost. It served her well at first, she was a manager for a few months. My ex manager also attended the same meeting and wasn’t prepared to bite the hand that fed him and reported back to his employer. He will always have a job with them as he is very involved. 

She’s been thrown out on her ass, suspended. Unfortunately she wasn’t as clever as she believed. Which is funny to me as she’s always underestimated me, honestly it’s adorable.

Knowing is half the battle. 
-Misanthropist.

I have no mouth but I must scream.

Posted in General, Job hunting, Unemployment with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

It’s been a long while since I last wrote anything or at least it feels like it. Turbulent times, if you’ve been reading enough you realise that despite my experiences my life in general is a chaotic clusterfuck, I’m still getting it together even now.

To that end I’ve been looking for work, I’ve found the kind of job that’s easy, well paid and I get left alone. It’s temporary with a possibility for expansion of my contracted hours. The hours mean I’ll have a social life and time to myself.

My main concern is getting out of the job centre, it’s still as fucky as ever. Nothing has changed. Upon my arrival she commented on seeing me again and I commented that she’s still having trouble with her computer. I’ll go on to explain how nothing has changed.

Firstly she sends me to agencies, physically when they all tell you to put in an application online. Second was a job that she obviously didn’t read because I don’t speak Mandarin or Cantonese a requirement of the job. I did look this one up just incase she told me she’d sanction me for not applying.

I did look up the word for idiot however. Then another job with a huge company that I didn’t even meet the requirements for.

The interview I attended today was stumbled upon by accident while my advisor tried to get her computer working. She made clear on that same meeting her only requirement is to attempt to force me into whatever employment I’m suitable for. If she keeps putting me in for jobs like that I’ll have no problem getting a job in the time before I get a payment.

UC is a mess. I have very little money at the moment and I have a month until a first payment and yet she expects me to travel for miles on public transport with next to zero funds. Her only advice is get an advancement, as if I want to owe them money.

On another note I’m kinda glad I’m out of my old job, can’t say I’ve been stressed at all since my employment ended. Only when it stopped did I realise sure I was doing great at my job but everything else kinda went to shit. I feel a bit of guilt over that but all you can do is fix it.

I need to get used to being a person again. If all works out with the job the transition into routine should be easier. I’ve been bored at home. The downside to having lots of time in your hands is you find yourself thinking too much. The upside is that some of that thinking can be productive.

All I’ve been doing is cleaning, laundry, cooking and applying for jobs. Other than that I’ve being playing the mass effect series many years too late which at this point is the normal with media. My social life is close to zero, maybe I speak with about three people.

So you can imagine the tedium by now. Between the job centre and everything else it’s all fun. That’s not to say it’s all bad, at least now things can and will change. By next week I’ll know if I’ve got the job. It’s all to perfect for me but if I can pull it off I’ll sail smoothly for a bit longer while I get everything else in order.

Once all that’s done 2017 should be acceptable. I’ll be able to work out what the hell we’re going to do about the music project, we spent a lot of time formulating a plan. If I think positively for a moment this is only a bump. That last job paid for everything I would need. I took a small amount in savings and stashed it away so I could use it for a future trip.

Realistically all of this hasn’t thrown me that far off course. Nothing I can’t fix in about 2 months. If all else fails I can make my own money, could freelance for my old work. Left on good terms. I had a conversation like this recently with someone important to me.

I’ve been down, only just came out of that feeling. You start to feel kinda useless when you work hardcore Monday to Friday then suddenly you’re doing nothing except attending job centre and getting frustrated as your money runs out. Fun times. Fortunately I just have to be patient.

On another topic entirely I’ve had this blog running for six years now. I think it needs a change. I should go back to writing actual posts rather than the sporadic updates you’ve received.

I’ll have to write again soon,

-Misanthropist.

Surprise, surprise.

Posted in Job hunting, Unemployment, Work with tags , , on September 4, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Now there are two types of people: some who set a single alarm and wake up and others who set five and only wake up on the fifth. I’m one of the latter people. On this particular morning the fifth alarm sounded and I was fully conscious, preparing for a coffee and first cigarette of the day. The ritual must be completed.
As soon as I get vertical I received a text message from my manager saying that coming in is pointless as I’d have no work to do, the campaign I’m heading up is not running. In my pre-caffeinated haze I took this as being given a day off but as I woke up the language in the message began to concern me.

The use of ‘if the campaign restarts’ and not ‘when.’ If I’ve learned anything in my life it’s not to wait in these situations. So I may as well start firing off my curriculum vitae or I’ll end up something like this:


My CV has a lot of new additions including managerial responsibilities, recruitment and QC among other things. Should make finding work easier and I should be able to demand a higher wage for my work. Honestly at this point I don’t see how I could work for less. 

Misanthropist.

I never asked for this.

Posted in Job hunting, Work with tags , , , , , , , on August 21, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

I get in on Friday, fire up my computer, open the spreadsheets, login to our system and after getting my morning out the way I hear a phone call saying you’re going to be speaking with our floor manager. Another colleague comes over and tells me that I’m going to be recruiting on top of all my normal work that day.

‘Floor manager.’ No, you’ve got the wrong guy. I really don’t want to deal with newbies. If they want training sure but I’m not too pleased about the prospect of carrying out primary interviews. I’ve combed for good candidates, some who speak other languages would be an advantage as well as previous experience, advantageous but not entirely necessary.

I’m going to end up heading up a damn team, I know it. I don’t particularly want it and if I’m put into that position, best pay me more. I don’t mind having a team of newbies but the turn over on lower levels is pretty high so I don’t want to waste my time with people who aren’t aware of my expectations or I don’t think will make grade. 

It’s a waste of my time, the company’s money and the applicants time. My main issue thus far is people saying the pay is too low. We need to change demographics to younger job seekers who are looking to earn nicely and learn some skills. I’m going to experiment the coming Monday with only selecting certain age demographics. I could probably get a better result hanging outside the Job Center than using monster.

Honestly, I hate recruitment and I do not want to be responsible for a bunch of fuckbois. I do not want to be the intermediary between candidates and the business. I didn’t ask for this. Is this what work place progression looks like?

-Misanthropist.

Into the fire.

Posted in Job hunting, Legal, Unemployment, Work with tags , , , , , , on February 14, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

  
I hate it when things change suddenly but sometimes being thrown in the deep end is for the best. I’m not really sure how it happened but my stint at the wall was cut short. I got a free pair of boots out of it so I can’t complain, I had started to enjoy how quiet it was out there. 

I started getting bombarded by interviews and when I sent my CV and custom cover letter as I usually did. I wasn’t complaining as the interviews saved me from getting up at 5.30am. I got a few interviews.

 One for a store that I didn’t want to work for anyway, the other was my current job. Unfortunately I couldn’t attend the hospital porter position and any after that I didn’t bother. I got a call back the same day and started on Tuesday, last week. 

It’s an interesting job. I’m learning a lot about the law. I can’t really go into the specifics. It’s well paid. Some consider it immoral but at the end of the day it helps some people. I’ve learned some things, investigative skills. How to take business from other groups. It’s interesting but definitely not glamorous.

At this point the world is full of barriers and the scales are not exactly even. If I’m not prepared to involve myself in the morally ambiguous then I’m only putting myself at a disadvantage. It helps that I know I’m helping and I’ll be paid.

Anyway enough about my job, you’ll hear pieces most likely but I’m just happy I finally have one, I don’t come and want to hit the bed right away. I can focus on building a life now. I guess being thrown in the fire didn’t turn out too bad.

I hate that two week rule, it has me waiting for a while until I’m paid but other than that things are alright. That Finnish girl is lovely too. Maybe things are finally levelling out, I’m definitely happier. The freedom at work is great too. 

I hadn’t updated anything in here for a while. I thought it was about time, now I have time. I feel like I’m doing rather well for myself finally. I will be when payday rolls around.

-Misanthropist.

So I’ve been sent to the wall…

Posted in Job hunting, Unemployment, Work with tags , , , , , , on January 24, 2016 by MISANTHROPIST

Remember the work experience, it turned into something called a Mandatory Work Activity. Keyword being Mandatory. I’m all good and ready to start work and to that end I have a few interviews lined up. Unfortunately the last I attended, with a guaranteed job, was a waste of time. The training was changed and I then realised I wouldn’t be able to make the first shift due to an 18km travel distance. 

Funny thing being that the agency it was set up by was first contacted through the job centre/UC itself. I knew it was too good to be true. Aren’t most things? Maybe my cynicism and general lack of faith have reached new depths. Either way it’s not important beyond the time wasted. Hopefully the next one is better right?

I attended the MWA meeting which was pointless basically a registration where no documents were required beyond signed ‘agreements’ something, something illusion of choice. We were told they didn’t even know what we were going to do, they just made vague allusions towards charity shops and such.

Here is where it gets interesting, I’ve been put in some kind of forest. 100 acres of woods. I’ve been instructed to bring everything I need because there are no shops around in a while. I had forgotten this place, my grandmother lived out here. She warned us of adders and the general dangers of dicking around Inna woods. I haven’t been there since I was a boy.

I was surprised to learn we have sequoias in England. I had only previously known of the ones in California. I definitely didn’t think we would have them in the UK. A quick Google search confirms my suspicion that this isn’t a natural occurance and they were transported via ship as seeds long ago. Still that’s actually pretty cool, they’re a beautiful tree. 

So I’m in the middle of nowhere which probably sounds stupid to Americans or Europeans on the mainland but to me that’s the middle of nowhere. They sent me to the nights watch. I still have no idea what I’m doing but at least they pay my travel. This might not turn out so bad. I guess it turned out pretty well considering the alternatives. Youth work or charity shop.

I’m just wondering about the weather, what I’ll be doing, the ridiculous travel distance every morning and evening and that’s without the traffic going back into outer London. Going to catch everyone and their mother coming too and from work every morning. Fact is I have very little idea where I’m going beyond a bus route and some vague childhood memories. It’s going to be a party. 

Let’s look at this for a second, when I received the letter it said it was mandatory because it will give you skills and experience relevant to getting a job. False. The reason I say this is because the type of employment I’m attending is very specific and has very few transferable skills. The other issue is that these jobs don’t just come and go, usually you’re in for the long haul so it isn’t like there will be a related job available any time in the near future. 

They also told me nobody there is getting paid, I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a barefaced lie. Someone is getting paid. I doubt that equipment is donated, somewhere someone is getting paid. There was no need to lie about that. Were they trying to make us feel better about being a source of free labour?

Anything job centre related is bound to be a clusterfuck. The only good points are the lack of people and reimbursement of travel. The rest is going to be an absolute shitshow.

-Misanthropist.