Archive for September, 2013

I’ve seen this too much.

Posted in Idiotic groups/people, Misanthropy, Social Media, The Internet. with tags , , , , on September 21, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST



The younger ones seem to forget this especially. I imagine redditors are guilty of this one too. Running around their dorms and sitting at their local starbucks or its English equivalent spouting memes and talking about Reddit. Surely you have more important things like a degree to worry about or work maybe?


Times like these…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 21, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

I love living here.

It seems we all love a tragedy

Posted in General with tags , , , , , on September 21, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST


I let everything out for the first time in a whole year, suddenly I get a little notification telling me my traffic has boomed. It seems we all love a little tragedy, watching someone fall apart. Must be interesting from your side of the screen.

I’m getting there, one way or another.

I survive, I speak, I breathe. I’m incomplete.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on September 20, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

                               To be vulnerable is needed most of all if you intend to truly fall apart.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m as strong as I used to be. This last year has taken a great toll on me. There are moments where I’ve been on the edge. I’ve been to dark places. One thing that really helps me in my situation is that most people would buckle, crushed under the weight of their mistakes. Haunted by the fact that they can never go back. The ghost is afraid of it’s own shadow. There’s something in me that wasn’t there before or is it something missing? I haven’t looked at myself for so long that I don’t know who I am anymore. There are times when I lived my life on autopilot but I wasn’t there, I wasn’t driving. Until this year I never knew what it was to truly fall apart. Once you’ve come to that point going back doesn’t seem like an option but it is always an option. I spent so long holding on that my demons damn near killed me. I am not the same person as I was a year ago. Sometimes I wonder if I’m becoming everything I ever hated or maybe I always was.

I’ve managed to keep it together, only barely. I’ve been a man with a single objective for a large part of my life. So long that the objective became my reason to carry on. A light in the dark. That, however, is my own fault. At it’s best my this objective has given me new outlooks, good friends and a soul mate. For a while I was to some people, a good friend, son, brother and fiancee. When you fuck up an image of perfection some people will just never see you the same. Ever feel like everything you cherished is slowly dying or gone? It is the worst feeling in the world. I lost a best friend, a fiancee and much more. I’ve got some of it back but I do fear she may never see me the same again.

Where’s this going to? Can I follow through or just follow you for a while?
That’s how I feel. I don’t know where anything is going anymore. I’m not certain. I’d go as far as to say I’m weak. Weaker than I’ve ever been. Physically fitter and stronger than ever before but mentally speaking I’m weak and there’s a hole in me I don’t think she’s seen. I just hope she knows that I don’t blame her and that I love her. No matter how this goes.

Does anyone ever get this right?

Making a monster

Posted in Uncategorized on September 19, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

Making a monster

Oh, hello. You’re looking at my blog.

Posted in General, People, Uncategorized, Useless information. with tags , , on September 19, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

I feel as if I should have knocked out a few more posts by now, don’t get me wrong I’ve being dealing with my own problems in the last month. This sudden small upturn feels so unnatural against the last year, the tide seems to be letting up which is nice after you’ve spent 365 or more days getting hit by wave after wave of shit. It is nice to be on dry land. Things are changing rapidly. I’ve resigned to the fact that if I want to make good money I’ll have to have my own business or way of making money. My little circle is getting smaller, with a good friend of mine moving 70 miles away with his partner in order to have their baby. So yeah I have very few people in my life. I’m putting my feelers out but at the moment I’m pretty happy with it for the moment. There will be more posts to come. I had all these ideas while I was knocking back beers annd they’re gone…

Oh and finally, I apologize about the advertisements you may see. Especially inappropriate ones unless they’re funny.
Turns out they need to make money off this place. I’m waiting to see the general quality of wordpress decline now it has become about profit.



Posted in Uncategorized on September 12, 2013 by MISANTHROPIST

I’ve had several breakthroughs with my guitar playing lately. My guitar is reaching new levels, I guess that happens when you spend 10 hours a day playing with it. Recently I was invited to go play with a few friends who wanted to make some music, they needed a guitarist and I was really excited to be a part of something musically speaking. I’d already written lyrics about an hour after I’d found out this was all on. To be honest two hours after I knew this meet up was happening I had lyrics, a guitar piece and even an idea what the drums and bass would sound like. I was told it was grunge-esque which was good considering I was shooting in the dark.

Unfortunately one member who was hosting the venue cancelled due to their child becoming ill, it’s unfortunate but it happens. Everything got cancelled, I haven’t heard anything since but I am going to try to rearrange it. They gave me something to start with and it got me thinking I could actually write something with some help. I have all these ideas yet I’m still learning. That learning has picked up pace recently but I could benefit from a teacher or just other players.  I was involved in a previous project musical, then the mixing equipment was stolen. And the studio wouldn’t allow outside access anymore.

My friend wanted a song that conveyed some sort of emotion, I wrote about someone who had lost their love and is spend their days on a slow roll of self-destruction. I already had a creeping guitar riff for this song, honestly I’d written it a long time ago. I say written it was more the haphazard twanging of an electric retard back then. I didn’t know what I’d do with it but it sounded great. It all came together in this song. It is more than raw, it needs cleaning up among other things but it’s all there. I could make a song out of it.

I have a few riffs of my own, strange thing is some of these sounds I’ve discovered and had since the second day I was playing but I’m just learning how they relate to other things. At the moment I have like a quarter of a puzzle finished the other three-quarters are lying on the ground in a pile. I hope that makes any sense to someone other than myself or I’m going to sound crazy. The other thing I’m doing is looking at artist play-styles and learning tricks from them. I already know what sound I’m going for, I’ve recently achieved that sound with Drop C. I’m wondering if things would sound any better in Open C.

When I picked the guitar up I knew a few things off-hand and didn’t really practice. It was more of an exploration. I spent a long time exploring the guitar neck in terms of sound. Good thing the room was sound proofed. I worked a lot out by ear pretty quick. I spent just as long finding out what chords I was playing and the one’s I’d played accidentally without knowing it was a chord. I was pretty stupid. I didn’t really use a pick for at least the first year. Even now I’m 50/50 with it.  I wasn’t interested in music until later in life and not interested in the technical side until a few years back.  The another reason why I’m basically calling myself and idiot is music lessons were provided in school, my mother always wanted me to play some instrument… I could have got free lessons and a guitar… I look and feel like an idiot right now.