Archive for January, 2017

Do you like Pina Coladas?

Posted in Love, The Internet., women with tags , , , , , on January 17, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

The strangest thing happened to me today, I posted on a popular website to meet new people as I’d been alone lately. A woman answered me from Europe and I replied, 12 hours later she got back to me and told me where she was from. In the same message she asked my name which I provided.

She said she could relate to my post a lot with what had been going on in her life. I felt like I knew her, it felt very familiar. She replies with my full name and I return with my nickname for her. It turns out to be my ex girlfriend who I just broke up with.

We talked a lot after that, I thought she would just stop replying but we talked and had the most meaningful conversation we’ve had in months. I’ve felt nothing but either determined, pissed off or caffeinated for a while now so you can imagine. Suddenly emotions.

We reconciled and she seems to have grown since we have been away. We spoke the whole evening and we were honest with one another, I feel like this she hasn’t let me in like this in a while. A few things occurred to me during the conversation that may be important. 

If we hadn’t spoken today we may not have spoken for months or ever. She said she almost deleted it because she was tired but she finished it before bed. Today she told me she loved me and when she found out other women were interested she opened up and said she was afraid of losing me. 

She was afraid that by the time she is okay it will be too late. I’ll be gone and she isn’t half wrong. I could have easily done so if I had to. It’s been a fucking weird day for me. We’re not back together but this is a start. She needs to learn to let me in, I know it’s not on purpose.

She said that people haven’t been the best to her when she opened up in the past. I promptly reminded her that I’m not people. I pointed out how she spoke about loving me, fell asleep with me and spoke about us having a life together but she hasn’t let me in. Paradox much?

She seemed to understand this logic. Again a step forward. She’s changed a little and for the better but she’s still herself. I do see through her, I just wish she would tell me rather than let me read her. I’m willing to be patient and assured her that I’m not going to disappear on her. She misses me and loves me, I guess that’s a start.

She finally dropped the bullshit and pulled back when she realised I could see someone else. Why should it have taken so much for her to do this. I had to reassure her that of all people I will accept her for who she is and how she feels. Does she not think that’s important to me?

I have to get the fucking difficult ones… despite being difficult she’s a sweet woman. Warm, caring in her own way. I guess we’ll see where it goes. This lifts a weight off me, I’ll admit.

I still don’t like pina coladas though…

-Misanthropist.

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My thoughts, these walls, this night.

Posted in Business, General, Useless information., Work with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

I’m not usually awake at this hour anymore, let alone writing and that’s because I sleep like a real person. I’m finally used to being alone and since I began succeeding in my endeavours I’ve slept the sleep of the dead. 

I’m a manager and business co-owner, ain’t life just awful strange? How loss translates into motivation, how I ended up here. Sometimes I think about where I will go from here. I appear to have success in a business environment. 

I’m looking at two pay days in the next month. One final payment  from unemployment and two separate payments related to the job. I should use this extra money wisely. 

In terms of meeting new people it’s been mostly internet based for the moment. I’m selling myself pretty well but how many times must I sell myself before all my pieces are gone. It gets tiring putting the effort into what is likely to amount to nothing. 

Then again I got three relationships and travelled the world as a result of meeting people on the internet so I know it can pay off. It’s a total crapshoot however and you’re likely to go through a lot of people before you find one you connect with and even then nothing is promised.

On an unrelated note it snowed today, it hasn’t snowed here in longer than I can remember. As the snow fell around me I thought of her for a moment. Then I was as cold as the snow falling from the sky. All I can do is learn from my mistakes and never repeat them. 

Today saw me get soaking wet three times then snowed on, my friend waited outside the store for 20 minutes while I was shopping. I have no idea what possessed him to do that but I stopped asking questions a long time ago. It’s a shame it had been raining all day otherwise the snow may have settled.

I’m definitely in a strange place right now in terms of the way I feel about everything. At one point I’m pleased with myself and what progress I have made. Then again of all the things I did fix I couldn’t fix that which truly mattered to me. 

Someone can be your whole world one day and a stranger the next, if life has taught me anything it’s that the futures we plan with the ones we love are not reliable. I’ve planned 3 now so I feel as if I’m speaking from experience. 

All I can do is take action to better myself and my economic situation. This is my first step onto the ladder and there is no way I’m going to let anything mess this up. Especially not being upset about her, I really don’t have time for that. This will be a time of work, focus and learning.

I’ll be applying this to my own businesses one day. Let’s give her something to regret. Nothing will take precedence over looking after myself and becoming successful. Unfortunately my bank balance is more reliable than love. 

I remember thinking you can have money or happiness. I went for love and happiness, it didn’t work out multiple times so now I’m going for money. I don’t need the kind of love where you give up on the other person because things got hard. I don’t need the love of a coward.

When she’s gone I’m left with myself. I began to ask myself logically what she brought to the table and when I examine it, it isn’t much. If I were to pursue another relationship I’d want it to be with an equal. Not a glass rose. 

That is one thing I do miss about the Brazilian. We both shared that fire, both have strong personalities. Had it not gone south we would have been a great couple to this day because we were well suited. Two lions. I have days where I miss that woman.

I have to stop looking back and focus on what is in front. I need to create the rituals for massive fucking success. When I get there I’ll be proud, then I can focus on finding a plus one.

-Misanthropist. 

1 new message.

Posted in Business, women, Work with tags , , , , , , , on January 5, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST


I’m lying there in bed contemplating the last 48 hours and what went down in Liverpool Street when I hear the vibration of a message on my phone. When I first broke up with my ex part of me wanted it to be her saying she’s back…

I’ve thrown myself into the fire and now I’m not sure which woman is messaging me. I know how that sounds but I have a degree of emotional intelligence and respect for women. I’m not going to screw them around. We are friends and there are some sparks but right now is not the time. I do have my favourites however.

It feels strange to have so many women actively interested. 7 so far I think. My ex, when we spoke became interested when I mentioned one of these women is from Norway. Scandinavian rivalry maybe? All I can say is: how’d you like me now. 

I have a bet on with a friend regarding my ex, it’s for about £50. I’m pretty sure I’ll win this. When she next contacts me it’ll be about how she’s met some guy and they’re in love. If that’s the case then I guess our relationship wasn’t so strong in the first place.

If you’re wondering why it seems like I have so little faith, it’s because I’ve seen it happen before. They meet the new guy, get the feelies, it goes wrong and I get a message about them missing me and wanting to come back. Once the door is closed, it is locked and with good reason.

Back to the point: the message read that as well as a part owner of the business I’m also the manager now. Just awaiting a draft of the contract. The other night it hit me that I’ve never been so sad to be successful. I played my ace and won.

You win some and you lose some. I’m surprised sometimes that I have the tenacity to continue. I’ve met people that have truly given up and in part it breaks my heart that someone just gave up. I’ve been told that they’re surprised all this hasn’t had a greater negative impact.

There’s the scars you see and the scars you don’t see. I have enough of both. They’ve made me who I am today and allowed me to succeed where others have failed. I’m made of tougher materials, I am the sum of my experiences.

I’m sitting here now thinking of the newbie I’m going to manage. I don’t know him or her. I want a good relationship with this newbie. They’ll be the Watson to my Sherlock. I guess only time will tell. 

What I do know is that if this kicks off as planned I will not have to worry about money. Just how and where to spend it. 

Look at me. I am your manager now.

-Misanthropist.

Here I go again.

Posted in Business, England, Job hunting, London, Love, Unemployment, women, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

About a week back now I applied for a job but instead of sending your average CV and covering letter I pitched. I started my old job in a sales position and went up from there. Everyone has to start somewhere right?

This summer: he was a salesman but the only thing he couldn’t sell… was himself. 

It’s a shit movie that either stars Rob Schneider or Will Farrell. Anyway, back to the point. So instead of the application I pitched him with ways I could improve and promote his business. I was pretty stoned and drunk if I’m honest and it was a shot in the dark. I never expected a reply.
I didn’t check my email for a number of days afterwards. I woke up one morning to the sound of my phone buzzing. I didn’t answer it right away and received a text shortly afterwards. I answered this message maybe three hours later and received another call. 

I answered this one. We had a short conversation during which I treated him as an equal rather than a potential employer. I asked him questions about his business. Extensive questions really, I wondered if I had been too forward but he was eager to talk to me.

Three days after the application he received my CV and I had a phone call within minutes. It went from a job application to a business meeting in a very short time. We arranged a time and a place. Liverpool Street, London. 

I attended the meeting and we sat down for drinks that he paid for. We discussed his business plan and marketing strategy. He was throughly impressed by my contribution and I now have a job with salary, bonuses and part ownership of the business. A small percentage but it’s a start. 

It’s funny really. I found myself again, like Ouroboros, exactly where I started. Outside dirty dicks in Liverpool Street. Where I had been staying with the Brazilian girl two years ago. I went in for a beer to celerate my success. It felt strange. I half expected her to come out of nowhere.

We walked down these roads together. I saw the ghost of her, the streets we walked and where we shared our first kiss. It was a strange feeling. If  we ever ran into one another again I’m sure it would end in one of two ways: fuck or fight. Still a part of me wanted to see her there.

So here I am, awaiting the paper work. The contract will be signed within a week. The business is vaping by the way. I’m getting part ownership with zero financial risk. I can’t complain about that. I still consider the man my boss as it’s his money and without him I’d still be up shit creek without a paddle.

God today has been weird. I have slept three hours in the last 48 and not eaten a single bite of food in the last 52 hours. Maybe that’s why I miss her suddenly. Maybe it was nostalgia. I don’t really know. Wherever gatinha is I hope she’s happy now. Jesus fuck I’m getting sentimental. 

I’ve never been so sad to be successful. 

-Misanthropist. 

New year. 

Posted in Uncategorized on January 1, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

New year.