Archive for friendships

A positive.

Posted in Relationships, women with tags , , , , on April 12, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

I have managed a plus out of all this, I met a lovely woman who I would say I respect and admire. There was some progress with her but it’s too soon to tell if it matters less than I believe or maybe it’ll change in the future. I will be genuinely upset if it goes nowhere but yeah I’m pretty sure its not something you do with everyone.

I find myself genuinely caring what she thinks about me. Enough to explain myself. I also find myself caring when she feels bad. She has her days despite being as strong as she is. I actually find myself missing her when she’s away. I developed feelings for her quite quickly, which isn’t normal for me, I liked her a lot when we met but I’m guessing that grew into attraction by the way I’m talking about her. Like I said before she’s an exceptional woman and honestly I don’t see why she’s alone.

If I have my way she won’t stay that way for too long. In a way I think I’m trying to prove a point that I care about her and want her to be happy, that’s she’s wanted. I never understood why the most beautiful women think they’re ugly even when they don’t say it. Why the most most exceptional ones think they’re nothing special. She would tell me it’s all perspective. I kinda like that she’s a smart ass. Makes me smile.

I wonder where this all come from but at the same time I know. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is so similar to myself but different at the same time. Fucking beautiful too. She doesn’t smile much but the eyes say it all sometimes. If all goes right I could see myself being very happy with her but again it’s early days. At this point all I can do is show her I am for real.

You lose some you win some or at least make progress. I think it’s important to stress that it’s not all shit. 



Of life and death.

Posted in General with tags , , , , , on September 9, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST

Soon I will be writing about a subject that is pretty close to my heart, a friend I lost twice. I haven’t really been able to talk about it properly until now. On that balcony, in brazil as the sun rose and the trip died down I became quite contemplative. Beer and cigarette in hand. Acid can really do that to you, give you strange abstract trains of thought. I began to think of the friend I’d lost some months back, a few fleeting memories of the times we spent together were abruptly stopped by the realization that it can never happen again, going back is not an option and the results of death are very permanent. I think I finally came to terms with the fact that he’s gone and I can never change that. When it happened I drank a lot and even tried an anti-depressant for the first time in my life in order to combat the complete sadness I felt. The acid made me think about it and accept it and for the first time since he died I knew he was gone and I wasn’t sad about it. I saw the futility of being sad about it. I thought more of his life than his death and I was thankful for the time we had. Even if things went pretty sour towards the end of his life he was still a brother to me. One day, in death we will be brothers again. Death being absolute in its nature kinda trumps the divisions of life. I just accepted it for what it was and in that moment, against a backdrop of vivid blues and pinks, I felt completely at peace with what had occurred.

I’ll be writing about it soon.

About that update.

Posted in General, How to lose friends and offend people, Idiotic groups/people, Men, Misanthropy, People, Relationships with tags , , , , , , , on August 22, 2012 by MISANTHROPIST

My good friend and I recently stopped talking, over some tobacco. What kind of friendship breaks over some tobacco?
Anyway tobacco was taken after he slept on my couch because he got drunk, had a bad night and decided to pop some antidepressants like a retard. I tried talking to him about it but he’s a passive agressive man-child who doesn’t have the balls to have a proper conversation about our situation. Anyways that’s done now, we won’t be talking again and I’m probably better off for it. It provided some decent laughs though, stay tuned for arguing with idiots on Facebook, part two. It has gotten to the point now where I don’t even want to talk about it. I’m just glad it is over. Why do I bother with people?

He came to my place to pick up his bass guitar and amp, waited for me to get it down the stairs, sat had a cigarette, then started arguing with me. As if I wouldn’t have given his things back to him. I mean, I’ve known the guy for 15 years. I’m an asshole but I’m not a douchebag. His slyness really got to me more than anything. I’m not even mad anymore. Screw that guy.