Archive for change

Another minus.

Posted in People, Relationships, women with tags , , , , , , on April 12, 2017 by MISANTHROPIST

Recently I spoke with a woman I’ve known for a while. We’re a case of missed connections. She doesn’t quite see me the same and that’s okay but she’s been talking to me on and off, for me I believed I felt chemistry. I told her again recently that I’ve always liked her and while I enjoy her company immensely it’s hard to be around her. Being and off with me bothers me, both in terms of our interactions and her contact. She fell asleep on the phone with me  less than a fortnight back, she used to do that a lot and I guess it reminded me of what was.

All I can say is it’s a damn shame, she said she doesn’t feel the same and we should cool it for a while which is reasonable. I mentioned there wasn’t really anything to cool and we’ll talk when we do. On writing this down here I realise I may have sounded like an ass unintentionally.

I let her know I didn’t mean to sound like an ass if I did. Explained my meaning etc. I’m a little upset but at the same time I can’t lose what I never had. She’s a lovely woman it’s a shame we didn’t get more time together really I truly did like her though. It’s a loss for me in a way but hey if we can remain friends that would be nice. I guess I’ll wait for the day I hear from her next and we’ll see.

Two down. This one isn’t a plus however.

-Misanthropist.

XFM-Radio X

Posted in The Media with tags , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

Maybe I’m getting old, here I am complaining about a radio station and changes made to it. Recently my favourite radio station, XFM, changed to radio X. Now, don’t mistake me for someone who generally dislikes change because that is not the case. I dislike change when it’s for the worst and ruins my favourite radio station.

It used to be the best radio station on air, to be realistic it suffered problems with repetition but the hosts in the morning were great entertainment. Weird little segments, great interaction in the form of pranking those who wake up at 7 with believably hilarious fake news stories. 

In short I’ve never laughed so much in the morning and the interactions between the hosts made it even better. It’s kind of sad to see what it has become. I’ve heard a few new tracks since the change but my main issue is that they’ve gotten in new and shitty hosts. Secondly they’ve put the best hosts on late night now.

I don’t get to laugh in the morning anymore, it was a nice way to wake up and a part of my morning routine for years. I’ll miss it a lot. I’m starting to wonder if the new incarnation of the station is an embodiment or reflection of the ‘lad culture’ I so deeply despise. 

Either way I find myself barely listening now, scrolling through the news on my phone. Trust life to go fuck up a good thing. I am displeased to say the least. I’m pretty sure radio is dead to me.

-Misanthropist.

As the colours of our memories fade, I’m only wanting to melt beautifully away.

Posted in Relationships, women with tags , , , , , on July 24, 2015 by MISANTHROPIST

  
Ever gotten sick of someone you love? It’s not a nice realisation to come to. The person you used to love with your entire being is now someone who you’ve come to dislike greatly, maybe it’s because after the time you spent together they should know better. when your favourite memories are marred by pain and regret what else can you do but melt away like sand through the fingers?

Someone told me recently ‘You’re a good person.’ To which I could only profess that I am anything but a good person. I made mistakes. Some of them unforgivable. I’m not a good person, I’m simply a person. All I can say is I always loved her. I had tried to be her guide, her friend and her lover. Someone so beautifully innocent needs to be aware of the evils of people. Lest they end up like me.

Even the most resolute Misanthropist was once a romantic, who believed in good, truth and fair play. The world has a way of scarring us, robbing us of our innocence and leaving us cold. Nobody deserves to go through that transition. I heard a song that describes it perfectly even though I hate the band.

On the outside you’re ablaze and alive but your dead inside.

It’s really getting to that point again. The doors are closed, the drawbridge is up, we’ve released the Sharks into the moat and I hold the keys to the chambers. I’m pretty done with people. As a fair man I’m giving her a weekend with me and if we can fix this mess I’ll be happy. Just don’t expect my emotional investment. The hour is late and I have to protect myself.

I’ve wasted time, I’ve wasted breath and I’ve beat myself half to death over my mistakes. This is where I’m done. I wanted a partner. She seemed like a perfect candidate at one point, she was good for me in a lot of ways. Next month she arrives in London. Let’s see what became of forever shall we? Words are weightless here on earth because they’re free. We’ll see if these ones hold any weight.

If that weekend doesn’t go well I’m going to have to walk away, disappear as such. Fade away like a memory. Melt beautifully away. I just hope she doesn’t miss me because there will be no trace when I leave. That way it’s easier, at least for me. I’m done helping others, I need to help myself now.

-Misanthropist.