Archive for cancer

Yesterday I argued with a cancer patient…

Posted in General, Medical, People with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST

On a long list of things I’m not proud of yesterday I argued with a cancer patient, wait, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I was arguing pro-life. When someone tells you they want to just give up and die it’s kinda upsetting. It launched me into an argument. The cancer is fully treatable and yet the individual was going to opt to miss out on surgery. It annoyed me a bit. Now, I know cancer is tiring and horrible. I’ve seen it’s effects first hand but at the same time when you’re not avoiding an avoidable death it’s kind of idiotic. I argued that when the time came and the person was actually in pain and dying they’ll regret the decision. I also argued that many people get the news ‘you have six months to live, say goodbye to your partner and children and get your affairs in order.’

Many don’t get the option to live and yet here you are about to throw that away. It sort of pissed me off, especially since it was someone I care about, a good friend. She may not have been thinking straight she did tell me she hated how people treated her differently because of it, the reason she told nobody the first time, so I did what I’d do in any normal situation where she was being an idiot. I called her out for it. I respected her wishes by reminding her that cancer isn’t a game and dying of cancer is no holiday. I feel like an asshole but I’m glad I did it because she was actually going to give up. I’d be some kind of friend if I let her swerve right toward an avoidable death. She changed her mind eventually which is good seeing as she can legally refuse treatment. She also thanked me for telling her how it is and treating her like a person and not a person with cancer.

Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, you have to do bad to do good. I still feel like an ass though. I’m just happy she listened to reason and I could logic her out of a stupid decision. I never said I was a good person but what I know I am is a good friend. I stand by my previous statement. Fuck Cancer. I’ve seen it take too many good people in my time. All I can do now is be supportive in the same way she supported me through my own struggles.


Fuck Cancer.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 11, 2014 by MISANTHROPIST

I recently lost a good drinking buddy to cancer and now a good friend of mine who has been there for me during this hard time has just been diagnosed with breast cancer for a second time. She tells me she wants to give up and just let it take her. That is honestly one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever had a person say to me. Especially someone I care about.

Fuck Cancer.

You are someone else, I am still right here.

Posted in Death, Misanthropy, People with tags , , , , , on September 13, 2011 by MISANTHROPIST

Ever noticed how all your friends are slowly fading out?
Everyone seems to think they’ll have that one friend forever, I’d allow myself to believe that but it’d do me no good. They all go away in the end. You might send cards on birthdays and christmas or get the occasional phone call if you’re lucky but I highly doubt that. In my case I suppose I’m lucky that my friend is as much of a train wreck as I am. I’d be an even worse person If I didn’t encourage him to change that, I am jumping ship so it’s only fair for me to encourage him to help himself. It sounds strange coming from me but I’m kinda concerned where he’ll end up in ten years.

I started life without a plan, a purpose, I found it later on in life. From aged 13 up until two years ago there was no yesterday and no tomorrow, I went with the flow and I count myself lucky I found something to live for because if I hadn’t who knows where I’d be right now. My friendship has completely sunk and as I said before there was never anything to save.

I have changed but I never lost myself, I am still right here. They’ve all changed, that is life, they forgot who it was who would help them out and talk to them realistically about their problems. They forget who was there for them. They find something better and move on. I don’t feel like I’m owed anything. Through life I’ve helped people and once they’re okay they move on, I don’t expect a thank you or anything really. I don’t need their praise. This is why I don’t bother making friends. If somebody wants me or needs me they know where I am.

It’s pessimistic, cynical and whatever you want to call it but it’s true
‘Everyone I know goes away in the end.’
People have jobs, girlfriends and whatever but it isn’t like they don’t have time to come and see you they just won’t you’re not that important and it’s quite likely that you never were. Depressing isn’t it?
I’m past the point of caring, it all fades with time. It’s kinda antique by now. Me and my long time friend will sometimes sit with a few beers and talk about how we saw it coming and watched the friendship sink. It isn’t as if we could do anything about it. Everyone has their own separate thing now whatever it may be, they’ve changed and we are still right here.

Here’s the beautiful thing, life’s cruel joke. The men in his family have all died of cancer. I’m fairly certain he is next. I give him until he’s 40 at best. He’s a heavy smoker and drinker. He knows he’s going to die before his time and accepts it. Even he will go away eventually. One way or another everyone is taken from you. In a world like this, a good person like him, destined to die and extremely painful death from cancer, you tell me there’s a god and he loves us.

I feel like a coward sometimes for leaving the country and never coming back but I have plans. I will not die on this rock and I will not sit and watch my best friend slowly die. Maybe I am a coward but I cannot do that. Even more bitter is when your family change on you and you’re some sort of pariah because you have aspirations that involve helping yourself to go up in the world.

Ah the old familiar sting. I will remember all of it and when they want me it will bite them in the ass. I am starting again thousands of miles from home. I’m going to find my own way. London drags you down, it tries to consume you, killing your hopes and dreams. No matter how far you go she’ll always call you home. Ignoring the call is the best possible thing one can do. I’m here for now but soon I will be gone and the ghost of my past will walk these streets. I hope they don’t wonder where I am because I won’t be wondering about them. You help people, they leave when they’re okay, they come back when it goes wrong but this time I won’t be here.