I have no mouth but I must scream.
It’s been a long while since I last wrote anything or at least it feels like it. Turbulent times, if you’ve been reading enough you realise that despite my experiences my life in general is a chaotic clusterfuck, I’m still getting it together even now.
To that end I’ve been looking for work, I’ve found the kind of job that’s easy, well paid and I get left alone. It’s temporary with a possibility for expansion of my contracted hours. The hours mean I’ll have a social life and time to myself.
My main concern is getting out of the job centre, it’s still as fucky as ever. Nothing has changed. Upon my arrival she commented on seeing me again and I commented that she’s still having trouble with her computer. I’ll go on to explain how nothing has changed.
Firstly she sends me to agencies, physically when they all tell you to put in an application online. Second was a job that she obviously didn’t read because I don’t speak Mandarin or Cantonese a requirement of the job. I did look this one up just incase she told me she’d sanction me for not applying.
I did look up the word for idiot however. Then another job with a huge company that I didn’t even meet the requirements for.
The interview I attended today was stumbled upon by accident while my advisor tried to get her computer working. She made clear on that same meeting her only requirement is to attempt to force me into whatever employment I’m suitable for. If she keeps putting me in for jobs like that I’ll have no problem getting a job in the time before I get a payment.
UC is a mess. I have very little money at the moment and I have a month until a first payment and yet she expects me to travel for miles on public transport with next to zero funds. Her only advice is get an advancement, as if I want to owe them money.
On another note I’m kinda glad I’m out of my old job, can’t say I’ve been stressed at all since my employment ended. Only when it stopped did I realise sure I was doing great at my job but everything else kinda went to shit. I feel a bit of guilt over that but all you can do is fix it.
I need to get used to being a person again. If all works out with the job the transition into routine should be easier. I’ve been bored at home. The downside to having lots of time in your hands is you find yourself thinking too much. The upside is that some of that thinking can be productive.
All I’ve been doing is cleaning, laundry, cooking and applying for jobs. Other than that I’ve being playing the mass effect series many years too late which at this point is the normal with media. My social life is close to zero, maybe I speak with about three people.
So you can imagine the tedium by now. Between the job centre and everything else it’s all fun. That’s not to say it’s all bad, at least now things can and will change. By next week I’ll know if I’ve got the job. It’s all to perfect for me but if I can pull it off I’ll sail smoothly for a bit longer while I get everything else in order.
Once all that’s done 2017 should be acceptable. I’ll be able to work out what the hell we’re going to do about the music project, we spent a lot of time formulating a plan. If I think positively for a moment this is only a bump. That last job paid for everything I would need. I took a small amount in savings and stashed it away so I could use it for a future trip.
Realistically all of this hasn’t thrown me that far off course. Nothing I can’t fix in about 2 months. If all else fails I can make my own money, could freelance for my old work. Left on good terms. I had a conversation like this recently with someone important to me.
I’ve been down, only just came out of that feeling. You start to feel kinda useless when you work hardcore Monday to Friday then suddenly you’re doing nothing except attending job centre and getting frustrated as your money runs out. Fun times. Fortunately I just have to be patient.
On another topic entirely I’ve had this blog running for six years now. I think it needs a change. I should go back to writing actual posts rather than the sporadic updates you’ve received.
I’ll have to write again soon,