Hover boards…

Because nothing says douchebag like gliding across the pavement at little over walking speed and getting in everyone else’s way…
I’d go as far as adorning this post with pictures but you already know what they look like and you have probably been annoyed by any number of douchebags riding these things in malls and elsewhere.

I wonder sometimes about how my life would have worked out if I had stayed with my ex girlfriend and moved out to Brazil. Mainly because I’m sure I wouldn’t be seeing so many hover boards. A life of misery is probably worth the trade. 

I constantly find myself resisting the urge to drop-kick people off these things. I’m only stopped by a few small things. Like age or possible legal repercussions of assault.

My first problem is that they don’t hover, so what is the point? Maybe I’m being pedantic but yeah it’s basically a skateboard for people with poor balance. You can’t even do a 360 kick flip on them… Not that I could anyway but still… Lame.

The second issue is that it seems the majority of people using these things are douches with no consideration for anyone else who has to use the pavement. It’s public property and you’re technically using a vehicle so surely pedestrians have right of way? 

Read: get out of my way of I’ll drop you off that piece of crap and put my foot through it. Some people may take that as an indication of a underlying anger issue. When you have these assholes almost trip you on a constant basis you start considering options for retaliation.

I’m hoping that this, like all other shitty fads, will eventually die off. Maybe I’m a terrible person but I actually laughed when I found out they were catching fire. The thought of someone scooting along on fire amused me greatly.

I’m glad the police are telling people to get off them when they’re in crowded areas, but hey everyone is pro law enforcement when the law is on their side right? 

At least kids with pogs weren’t annoying anyone… These things are definitely my first pet hate of 2016. Annoying and ultimately pointless. Congratulations you look like an idiot, only more than usual.

-Misanthropist.

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