She always said if we broke up she would end up ruining an entire culture for me. False. I love Brazil, it has its problems but it is a beautiful place full of some of the warmest people I’ve ever met. I look forward to going again one day. I absorbed so much of their culture that I feel more at home there than I do in my own home.
I do miss her, I really do, as you miss anyone you once loved. Maybe I still love her but it’s irrelevant now isn’t it? The memories will always be there and I can’t deny that she had an influence on me. A huge one, both good and bad but how would I let the actions of one woman ruin an entire culture for me? For a smart woman she sure could be stupid as fuck.
I may even go out to some of the Brazilian bars in London. And, I know what you’re thinking… Gringo is going hunting for girls. Who could blame me really? They’re fucking beautiful. I totally have a weakness for that accent now but that isn’t it. I miss the food, the drinks etc. There’s this beautiful casual way of life in Brazil. Everything is done in time, not rushed. I really love that.
I also enjoyed the ease with which I could socialise. The women seemed to like me and they weren’t afraid to let me know it, I find that refreshing. It’s so rare to have a girl just outright say she likes you here. Cultural difference I guess? It’s also rare to strike up a random conversation that leads to a friendship here. Honestly if I could manage it I would just skip country.
I have a feeling Id be happier there if I could make a decent living. I miss the wildlife and beautiful natural scenery. There’s really nothing like that here. I understand why Brazilians come to London but I also understand why they return home. Who would want to stay here forever unless their situation at home is infinitely worse?
I’d trade the relative safety of London for Brazil any day. It’s funny, how full of yourself can you be to believe you could wreck someone’s view of an entire group of people?
In a closing statement, I’m not going to claim that everything that happened was her fault. I fuck up, I make mistakes and my words are sometimes razor edged. I always attempted to right my wrongs and let her know she was more important than whatever we argued about. And finally, I do not fetishise those women. I do however have a massive weakness for them probably as a consequence of my positive experiences with them.