Cancel the future. Learn from the past.

The last month was quite shit, I had expected my birthday to be quite the same but it wasn’t so bad. A few friends, BBQ, drinks, a little smoke and a good time. Anyway I’ll get to the point because this is only partially relevant to it. As a gift I got a beard trimmer. 

Now I’m a fan of beards but I did experiment when I was happy and didn’t give a damn about shaving. Even without growing a beard I’m very much a fan of the time it saves. Great gift, the other gift was socks. Birthdays and Christmas definitely change as you grow. 
As I mentioned earlier I’m looking at paying more attention to my appearance, attire, effects and all. If I’m aiming higher I need to look better. Of all the things I can say about my ex one of them is that I learned from her. Attire is an important part of success. I’ve always known it changed perceptions but I’ve yet to practice this.

Now is the time. New clothing, distinguishing effects. There’s a few other things that need to fall in line but money can’t buy those. My motivation is this: having experienced a much better life the my current climate is intolerable. I’m tired of it. I’m happy for what I have but it isn’t much, not even nearly enough.

For a long time I haven’t really been applying myself. And when I have my misguided attempts have me inserting myself into the wrong environments where my skills are not utilised. A lot needs to change. I’ve spoken of this many times but now I have a direction. A plan for that change. I’m tired of worrying about money and tired of nothing changing.

I need to begin travelling further into the capital where opportunities exist. Here none can be found unless I wanted to branch out into theft or drug dealing. A decent honest living is a myth here. As I’ve said so many times it’s a shit hole. I require greater social and economic mobility this place cannot offer me that.

If I apply myself I can succeed. I’m ready and my greatest motivation is changing my economic situation. I’ve realised that if you have money everything else will fall into place. I want to be able to have the funds to indulge myself. At the moment I’m eating crap and barely scraping a living. It’s sad and it needs to change.



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