Lad Culture.

This isn’t a new thing, just these idiots went digital. I’ve been irritated by these sorts since I first encountered them on nights out in the wild. Who uses the word squad to describe their group of friends? And what is it that makes a nando’s cheeky? 

The whole lad thing has exploded. You’re not a lad, you’re a wanker sunshine. 

Lad:

a british phenomenon; beer chugging, banter loving, footie watching, womanizing man – a LAD.

Only three of the four are usually true. Honestly, this is what people aspire to be. I’m surrounded by these sorts ever since the whole lad phenomena began. A lad is easily spotted at the bar. Usually they’re wearing a football shirt and talking about football or taking the piss out of someone (read: Banter.)

Sometimes they can be found awkwardly attempting to dance and ultimately mate with whatever catches their fancy, all while attempting to show off to the other lads. It seems like a sad existence. You live for football, banter and the pub and I doubt there is anything you can contribute that is of any use unless I decided to go into betting on sports.

Luckily, seeing as I’m unemployed and stuck inside I don’t have to run into any of these idiots in bars or in the town centre. What happened to my generation? Or is it me? I’m not sure but I know there are more important things in life than talking shit, drinking, football. I’d rather make bank than waste my time on trivial things like those.

To this day I do not know what makes a Nando’s cheeky. My ex used to bitch that Nando’s wasn’t even Portuguese or close. She refused to eat there on principal. Maybe it’s cheeky because it masquerades as an ‘Experience’ and ‘Portuguese.’ It presents itself as a restruant when it is basically and upmarket chicken shop. Now that’s cheeky.

-Misanthropist.

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