Time to attempt to relax

I have no idea how this will be achieved but it needs to happen. I’ve smoked some to wind me down and now I’m sitting in my room, dim light of the laptop the only thing cutting through total fucking darkness. Seems like a nice enough environment. Now I just have to entertain myself.

I was considering breaking out the old PS2. Shooting people in the face can be quite therapeutic I just say. Yes I really do hate a lot of people right now. I just can’t be bothered with the long ass set up. I recently ran into classical art memes and edgy Egyptian memes which are the only things that have made me smile in a long time.

 Maybe i should try rain sounds. Funny to think that all this wouldn’t matter if I was sipping devassa, eating shrimp and getting laid on a nice beach in Rio. Isn’t it funny? How getting laid almost nulls and voids everything else. I’m really at a loss here. I have no idea what the fuck to do. 

I have to write an important letter tonight but other than that there’s not much else I have to do. I think what would be nice right now is laying in here with someone. You know the nice nights where the lights are off and you’re both in bed together. I miss that. 

This is pretty sad. I used to be such a chilled out person but now I literally don’t remember how to relax. I might have to write some more just for something to do. This is one of those nights where nobody is around. Everybody is busy. I really do need to learn how to have fun on my own again. I also need to relax before work but I’m still dealing with her birthday shit. Things haven’t been great but I’ve been mailed so many things by that girl I have to reciprocate lest I feel like an asshole.

Still, what to do?



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