A man walks into a bar…


Already pretty faded from San Miguel and smoking sessions with my friend. I walked to the bar paying attention to the cute Ukrainian bar maid, then ordered a Czech Pilsner because it’s what I used to get at the bar with her. You can tell what kind of night this is already can’t you?

It was something like that scene where the ship is sinking and the captain orders out his finest alcohol for his last drink. After I’d ordered the drink we went to sit down outside because their beer garden has a sheltered area. The monsoon came to London yesterday. I spent a majority of my day soaking wet.

We had actually tried to catch some live music at a different bar but nothing was on yesterday so having already traveled a few miles on foot and sat down for food we decided we would continue up to our usual haunt. We ended up being there for the best part of an hour, we got bored and left. It was the way home that things got interesting.

In my haze I thought that mixing monster rehab with vodka was a smart idea. You can tell how wasted I was because I never drink vodka. I also decided a cider would be a good idea and eventually the intoxication got to me causing me to vomit. In retrospect I don’t know what the fuck I was doing because I wasn’t enjoying it.

I think I was out for self destruction, trying to melt myself down because everything had gotten to me so badly that I wanted to be destroyed. Maybe then I’d sleep and stop thinking of the things that bother me. I remember passing out when I got home but still feeling no better than I had when I went out.

The entire night seemed like a waste of time and energy, I remember feeling bored and as if nothing of value had been achieved. I wish I had just stayed at home. I sent half a dozen messages that night and accidently sent my picture message about how fucked I was too the wrong person with pretty hilarious results. I’d sum up the night something like this…

I didn’t suffer a hangover, just a severe case of what the fuck am I doing…

I’ve spent so much time upset I’ve forgotten how to laugh or have fun or even relax properly. I literally can’t enjoy myself anymore. Only today am I actually trying to do so.



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