Failure to launch.

Is what I’d title this weekend. I’ve spent way more than I thought I would have but on the upside I’ll have a new Xbox and about 20 odd games to distract myself with. Anyway, onto yesterday…

We woke up in the morning and decided that Friday night may have been a bit excessive what with it’s countless beers, shots of Jack Daniels and blunts. After much coffee and nicotine I realised the need for toiletries.

I got in the bath and cleaned of the filth from work and play. Once I was done my cute neighbour asked me to grab her some cigarettes because her kids were sick. Lovely lady, I’m assuming fasting was off because her kids were all sick. 

I’d need a cigarette too dealing with three sick kids. I eventually finished the cleansing ritual and headed out to town to grab my toiletries. Hungry from the night before I decided I would demolish a subway, my friend had already eaten so decided he’d wait for me in the pub while he drank an amaretto.

I went into the pub with him, I reasoned that there was no point eating only to drink five minutes after the fact. We ended up having a few beers, I wasn’t going to let him pay for an amaretto. Shits expensive. After a few drinks we decided to sit in the beer garden. I’m not sure if it was because of the good weather or the fact that I was tired of hearing the old boys talk crap.

In the beer garden we were treated to a woman using the word eviscerated to describe the state something they’d hit while doing garden work. Two women across from us were debating whether eviscerated was a word. One girl looked to me as if to say ‘back me up here’ after they’d heard me say eviscerated. I couldn’t help her as eviscerated is indeed a word. Made for some decent pub talk, a good laugh if you will.

We had a few more drinks after that, then I continued on to subway where I demolished a foot and a half of steak cheese melt. I told my friend that I could eat another half to which he replied that I was a greedy bastard. ‘Not greedy, stoned.’ I replied. A girl sitting across told me that’s what she needs to do. Working in customer service I think I’d need to be high every day too.

We went to retrieve my toiletries after that and then, just as we went to leave for home it began to rain torrentially. Gotta love British weather. We walked home looking like a pair of drowned rats. Unfortunately the clothing that was saturated by London rain is the same set of clothing I wanted to wear that evening. 

Walking home in the rain, half cut is always a fun time. When I finally hit home I got my wet clothing off only to be informed that we needed cheese for lasagne. Back into the rain I went for cheese and more beer. Eventually the rain died down. I ate and changed then we walked to the local shit hole for a few games of pool. It was either pool or poker. I didn’t have the energy to deal with my old friends and their friends of friends. Pool it was.

For such a shitty bar it was quite packed, so much so that pool was impossible. It just wasn’t going to happen. We had two more beers and left. My friend suggested that we go to see a crappy movie but between my mcshame trip and the lack of anything decent in the cinema we ended up going home.

In all it was a shitty night. Shitty weekend actually. I spent more money than I should of and didn’t do anything of note. Waste of time and money. Distraction is getting expensive and boring.

-Misanthropist.

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