Yesterday I argued with a cancer patient…

On a long list of things I’m not proud of yesterday I argued with a cancer patient, wait, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I was arguing pro-life. When someone tells you they want to just give up and die it’s kinda upsetting. It launched me into an argument. The cancer is fully treatable and yet the individual was going to opt to miss out on surgery. It annoyed me a bit. Now, I know cancer is tiring and horrible. I’ve seen it’s effects first hand but at the same time when you’re not avoiding an avoidable death it’s kind of idiotic. I argued that when the time came and the person was actually in pain and dying they’ll regret the decision. I also argued that many people get the news ‘you have six months to live, say goodbye to your partner and children and get your affairs in order.’

Many don’t get the option to live and yet here you are about to throw that away. It sort of pissed me off, especially since it was someone I care about, a good friend. She may not have been thinking straight she did tell me she hated how people treated her differently because of it, the reason she told nobody the first time, so I did what I’d do in any normal situation where she was being an idiot. I called her out for it. I respected her wishes by reminding her that cancer isn’t a game and dying of cancer is no holiday. I feel like an asshole but I’m glad I did it because she was actually going to give up. I’d be some kind of friend if I let her swerve right toward an avoidable death. She changed her mind eventually which is good seeing as she can legally refuse treatment. She also thanked me for telling her how it is and treating her like a person and not a person with cancer.

Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, you have to do bad to do good. I still feel like an ass though. I’m just happy she listened to reason and I could logic her out of a stupid decision. I never said I was a good person but what I know I am is a good friend. I stand by my previous statement. Fuck Cancer. I’ve seen it take too many good people in my time. All I can do now is be supportive in the same way she supported me through my own struggles.


8 Responses to “Yesterday I argued with a cancer patient…”

  1. I am totally with on on this post. I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer last month. She is in hospice now. Depressing. I hate this disease. But in situations like this, we are taking the opportunity to love and take care of the dying person. Glad you were able to change this woman’s mind. Bless you.

    • She’s a good friend and has looked after me during my struggles, if I can help her half as much as she helped me I can truly call myself a friend. Thank you for the kind words and I hope your friend makes it through okay. Nobody should have to suffer with this disease, luckily we’re fast progressing toward a cure. The unfortunate thing is for some it will not be soon enough.

      Good luck and stay strong for your friend.

  2. i wish i could agree with this but i do want to not live anymore. in you misanthropist posts have stated, as i wish i could do, write, and state in a eloquent way, do. but i can’t. fml. i dont even know.i would trade my life for hers in a heartbeat. fml.

  3. good on you and her

    • I have days where I’d like, not to die, to cease to exist entirely. Lafingman have you been drinking my friend? Death is not something to take lightly, when you’re on the tipping point and the pain really kicks in and you’re tired and struggling for every breath you’ll realize that dying is no party. Depending on where cancer spreads to you can be dealt a number of horrible and painful deaths.

      Your final statement would be a noble one but it isn’t like you’d be doing it for her, for you it’s a way out and that doesn’t equate to nobility. I know this is cliche but there are people out there who have been dealt some shitty hands, don’t give up just because things are hard. If I had that attitude I would have curled up into a ball and died years ago. Life is war and every day is a battle. With cancer that statement becomes quite literal. Things change, that is certain and with effort things can change for the better.

      If you ever need to talk I’m here, message me.

      • Yeah i know that its more for me but there are so many people i see dying and they have a dream and have importance in this world and I just feel so useless and if i could pass my life flame to them so they could continue existing and making for a more positive existence for everyone or anyone i would. I just feel like its ssdd and nobody wants to hire me at all (the economy doesnt help).

        My close friend was depressed and had said he was wishing to contract some deadly disease, and I thought about it, and i kind of agree that at least it would give this drab existence at least some kind of meaning, but you would have much more pain with it. so its kind of a toss up.

        And yes I was in the middle of downing some booze when I wrote it, and didnt think i wrote that much when i came back to read it. i realize that posting negative stuff like that is probably a mistake, but from mistakes come experience and all that.

        I should probably create a private journal to get the thoughts out without impacting others.

        I hope your friend pulls through.

  4. Thanks man, I hope she does too. Surgery is tomorrow and things are looking good. Maybe you don’t have a plan right now but things change and we make our own purpose in life. You’ll find a job eventually and so will I. Expressing oneself is rarely a mistake, one person or another is bound to disagree with you somewhere. You felt what you felt and if a journal helps then do it. Regarding your friend, he’s probably just in a shitty place much like ourselves. Sometimes when you’re in a place like that you aren’t thinking right and you say things you wouldn’t usually say but when the time comes and things turn out better you wind up thinking ‘god I was an idiot’ or ‘I’m glad I didn’t do it.’

    Stay strong. In life one thing is certain, that thing is change.

    • thanks man. if you do ever want to talk outside of the comments section I’m willing to but every time i do it seems I kill whatever chances of friendship I had and we stop talking. My skype is the same as it is everywhere. id send you a personal message on wordpress but im not quite sure how. and again thanks for the kind words, they are hard to find sometimes.

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