If you own a Scarface canvas painting you’re probably a douche.

A number of people I know have canvas art. In their bedrooms, living room or somewhere in their homes. Sometimes canvas art can be nice but it’s rare, it usually just looks tacky. A popular piece of canvas art for people my age is a Scarface piece, a large number of the guys I know have Tony Montana’s image on their wall somewhere and it makes me think ‘Is that all we aspire to be?’ Just because we’re working class plebs doesn’t mean our only option in life is dealing cocaine. Is that something to aspire to, really?

Dealing Cocaine is a dance with the devil. You can end up mega rich but at some point you’ll either end up killed by a rival dealer or if that’s not an issue you’ll most likely end up in prison. Even dealing coke has certain qualifications. One being that you’re not a complete idiot, many who dabble in dealing coke just don’t have that qualification. There are other ways to get out of this meager existence we lead, unfortunately half the people I know are either too stupid or just lack the opportunities. Personally, although I like Scarface you would never catch me hanging that on my wall. Here’s the profile of the type of person that has this sort of thing hanging up in their bedroom:

-Male aged 15-25.
-Probably been in prison/cautioned for minor offenses.
-Probably dealt in lower class drugs like Cannabis.
-History of anti-social behavior.
-Aspirations of power and money.

For some it’s fantasy and enjoyment of a great film, for others Tony Montana is like a god. I can imagine them praying to their canvas Tony Montana fresco while they weigh up their Tenners (Similar to a dimebag for our American audience.) People that have these things tend to be douches to the point that they become laughable to me and I can’t take them seriously in any context, maybe I’m too judgmental but if I see that in your house I’ll probably think less of you, after that it’s on you to prove to me that you’re not a douche-bag.

If you want a real super villain to aspire to, I have a good suggestion. You’ll have more wealth than a small country, the power to make a nation starve, you’ll be able to rob millions of people simultaneously over the time it takes to have dinner with colleagues. Become a Banker.
I’m gonna go get my canvas painting of Bernie Madoff made right now!


2 Responses to “If you own a Scarface canvas painting you’re probably a douche.”

  1. i did not read, but: ive wanted a manson described as a scarface mansion but different. so call me a douche, i dont even, i dont know. im drunk. i love your writings. fuck. i dont know. :|. im gonna cry. i want to read this but im 31. fuck my life. fml. whatever. i dont know. i love you sir. goodnight

    • Man you and me both gotta lay off the sauce right now. Having a mansion from a film isn’t the same as being a wannabe crime lord and praying to a canvas painting of Tony Montana. You’re not a douche you’re just down and out and I know that feeling.
      Just sober up and message me when you get the chance okay?

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