It’s that time of year again…
I don’t hate Christmas itself but when you get past a certain age Christmas really loses its magic and becomes about the huge list of things you have to procure before the 25th in order to have that single day live up to the expectations of yourself and your loved ones. Christmas day itself is great but the run up to Christmas is an inescapable chore to the point where, when it finally comes around, all you want to do is get into that bottle you’ve been saving and eat your dinner. Then you’re stuffed to the point where you can’t move away from whatever crap it is that is on the television at the time. I do hate the fact that this one day of the year has become a chore but I guess that’s part of growing up.
So we’re all about to spend the next few weeks running around, reserving turkeys and buying alcohol and gifts. The best part about my Christmas this year is that I won’t be seeing a paycheck till Christmas Eve so I’ve had to do what I could with the money I had then run out like a madman at 6am to grab my money and pick up as much as I can in the little time I have. Had we been given any notice of this I could have planned a month ahead and there would be no issue. This basically highlights one of the problems I have with work. You give them your time/effort and they can’t even extend a simple warning for something as important as this. If they cannot extend such common courtesy do I really want to grind for 8 or so hours every day for these people?
I’m already kinda annoyed about not being in America for Thanksgiving. I like that holiday and I’d have had some great company too. I’m determined to make this Christmas at home a semi-decent one. Unlike last Christmas which involved me drinking copious amounts of crappy alcohol that I didn’t even really want. The other thing is this Christmas I’m alone again, I’ve got my family for the best part of the day but that really doesn’t compare to having a woman to enjoy the season with. I won’t let that ruin it for me though. I’ve managed to get enough drink, smoke and food to see me through the couple of days that constitute a very British Christmas.
With all I still need to do I can safely say there’s no way I’m going to be able to enjoy Christmas until the day itself. I can’t remember the last time I got a Christmas gift other than a buddy throwing a beer at me because I need to get into the spirit or something like that. Then there’s the gifts my ex still says she has sitting there for me. That says something right? My friends aren’t really the gift giving type, most of them would rather throw the money into a decent night of getting trashed together over a few games of whatever. Can’t say I’ve ever complained about that plan of action.
At this moment in time I don’t even know if I will enjoy it at all. My best friend will be with his fiancee and other than him my circle is virtually naught. I can go out any time and meet people but I just don’t have the feel for it right now. There’s nobody I want to meet and nobody I can be bothered investing my time in to end up disappointed as per usual. Between the running around, that slight creeping depression, loneliness and all around boredom It’s needless to say that I’m not looking forward to it anymore. Why would I?