Am I the only Englishman that doesn’t follow football as if it were the word of the lord god himself?

Seriously, football in this country isn’t a sport it is a way of life. I know people who eat, sleep, breathe and shit football and to be honest I don’t get it. I prefer UFC, fighting sports, the occasional bit of Nascar and that’s about as far as it goes. For me sport isn’t worth following, I don’t derive any pleasure from it unless it is UFC really. Maybe that’s the Roman in me enjoying a little blood sport. After all what’s more entertaining than watching two people beat each other senseless. That said I have a huge degree of respect for those guys and the risks they take in those tournaments. One thing that is better than watching a messy fight is watching a skilled combatant. Final note on fighting sports, how can one accurately distribute points to fighters during a match. The scoring systems seem highly flawed.

It seems that, for a lot of people, football is an excuse to get wasted. I understand that people like to get drunk but using football as an excuse sounds like fledgling alcoholism to me. I really want to hear from some football fans here. What is so enchanting about watching eleven men run around a field with a ball for 45 mins. Rugby is slightly more enjoyable to me, maybe that’s because there is some contact involved and the players are not preening pansies. Don’t get me wrong I support a football team because I have since I was three years of age but even my team only got where they are not due to having the money to buy all the talent. It’s sad what football has become. It is all about money now. Another thing that is retarded is football related violence, it isn’t common nowadays but it still happens.

I don’t understand how people put time aside to watch it, even worse are the people who will actually cancel existing plans because a game is on. Or the ones who basically ignore their spouses and children until the game is over. Never in my life would I put a sport before my family. If I need man time I will retreat to my study and down a bottle of Jack and I will not be heard from until one hour before sun’s rise. Another thing that sucks about football, for me at least, is when someone I’m chilling with gets into a conversation about football with another random fan. They will sit and talk bullshit about the most minute detail of the match or a transfer/injury/whatever. Football actually annoys me nowadays. I dislike most football fans as a general rule. Sure I’m not going to restrict your freedoms but don’t talk about football all day every day, especially not to me.

When a friend encounters a fellow fan and they ask why I’m not weighing in on the state of the game, I usually reply with something similar to ”Football doesn’t interest me.” After which I am met with utter disbelief as if I’ve just ripped up the bible in front of them. It used to be interesting to see, now it’s getting old. Most of the time I will just light a cigarette. I’ll probably get cancer from how often this happens to me.

I don’t hate football so to speak but I definitely have a finely tuned distaste for it,
Misanthropist.

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