Chronicles of a young Asshole/Misanthrope Vol.(1)


So it’s Sunday again, my least favourite day of the week, I’ve been down to the store and brought myself an energy drink some ingredients for dinner and some cigarettes because on a day like sunday you must have cigarettes. I’m making a Hungarian-American fusion dish out of two recipes taught to me by my best friend and woman respectively. God, I sound like a douche even saying the word ‘Fusion’ in a food related sentence. I always use fresh ingredients because frozen and tinned food tastes like crap. Anyway on to the point of this post: As a fledgling asshole/misanthrope I had many adventures which I will chronicle here as I recall them. It’ll act as a bit of filler and maybe even give you a few laughs or you’ll be offended in which case I don’t care.

Please bear in mind that these posts will be in no particular order chronological or otherwise. As a teenager I decided one winter day that I would ware a Che Guevara t-shirt into school, my history teacher was an educated man and one of the best teachers I ever had, I think I was just looking for an argument that day. He sees the t-shirt half way through our one hour periods and gets pretty mad while educating me on how Che Guevara was a nasty man, bayonetting pregnant women and murdering various people. I thought murder was kinda a main facet of revolution?

I have no real political alignment unless the far right are seeking power, then I feel it my duty to vote against them as a misanthrope and a human being. What could be worse than the far right coming into power, its pretty funny I say that because as a blonde haired, blue-eyed white guy I stand to gain the most. As he carried on in his rant, getting pretty fired up and red in the face he tells me to go home and change my shirt ending his outburst with ‘Would you ware a shirt with Adolf Hitler on it?’

Sure enough I was wearing a shirt with Hitler on it, the shirt in itself was anti-Nazi and Hitler but you’d have to read it to see that. It read Hitler’s European Tour listing various countries such as Britain and Russia as cancelled. He was in no mood to read such a shirt and sent me out of class. With a smile on my face and a spring in my step I left class, went home and explained to my mother who said he should have read the shirt and let me stay home for the day. Now I don’t remember entirely but I could have planned that seeing how long and boring the day was set to be.

This is really nothing compare to some of the things I did in school and got away with frequently. I was an extremely good student, always respectful towards my teachers because after all they give up their time for a meagre wage in order to teach me about the world around me, educating me for my descent into the fuckery that is working life. It goes to show that if you’re an excellent worker and well liked you can get away with anything. I bent the rules multiple times, this is something I plan to carry into my working life.

Misanthropist.

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