And with the end I felt my childhood take it’s dying breath.

As a child in 95′ I went to see the movie Toystory with my parents and fell in love with it as many children did at the time. Life was simple back then, no pressures, my father was still at home and my mother wasn’t struggling to make ends meet. I had a happy childhood, a luxury which few could afford. I had good, loving parents a nurturing environment where a 5 year old me watched David Attenborough documentaries by choice. Where the world’s natural wonders were always brilliant and amazing, never one without the other. At risk of sounding cliche: it was a simple time, a better time.

Then came 99′ and with it Toystory 2 which a 9 year old me enjoyed very much. The themes were slightly different, having matured slightly with the audience. Life was still good, I had no worries beyond whether to pack my P.E kit and the occasional spelling and math test. Life was uncomplicated and blissful, a learning experience. To quote something I once heard or read “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”

Then came Toystory 3 in 2010, by then I was 20 years of age and it never appealed to me to go and see this movie. I was 20 my mind was on my education, drinking, my girl, getting laid, learning, my problems and various adult preoccupations. I grew up too fast in retrospect. I had to. My father left home, leaving us in debt and my mother struggling to hold it together. Everything worked out but we still feel the repercussions of his debt to this day. Things were very much different. The wonder had gone, nothing had beauty and everything hurt. I had became misanthropic, hateful and distrusting over the years.

2012 came, sitting with my woman in her living room surrounded by her family she decided to put Toystory 3 on, I was receptive because we both hadn’t seen it and well, what the hell? So she puts it on and I notice how the themes are more adult, how there is a sense of danger in the movie and that the bad guys were decidedly more evil than before. The reasons for their evil were greatly developed, more so than ever before.

The movie had grown with its audience. The claw saved the day, that still tickles me a little. In the end Andy donates his toys to a little girl whom will play with them, he goes off to college and the movie ends. I saluted Pixar and everyone involved in what had been a large part of my childhood, so much so that I remember the meals I ate as I watched it well over a hundred times between 95-99. Birdseye chicken dippers, potato waffles and hoops with tomato ketchup. I looked back with nostalgia, thinking about how the world and I, myself had changed. I saluted Pixar one more time and with that my childhood took its dying breath.


2 Responses to “And with the end I felt my childhood take it’s dying breath.”

  1. Thank you writing this mate, I got home today with the blues…and was feeling the same way about my life. I wouldn’t say my 90s childhood was most peaceful by standard, but at least I didn’t have to worry so much about keeping up with the responsibilities that have to tackle everyday like now (in my 20). Like you said, I’m also always constantly have to think about education, drinking, girls, networking, job, career, bills…just to keep up living “normal” in society.

    There’s not a moment nowadays where I feel relax, carefree, adventurous, or simple…be the child that I once were.

  2. It seems that the older you get, the more it sucks. I think I compensate for it by partying hard, even if they are small parties. I live somewhat on the edge of normal society, as you’ve put it. I’ve tried to maintain as much freedom as possible but it is evident that I have to lose freedom in order to get anywhere in life, financially speaking. I just don’t think I’m prepared to lose that much freedom for a sum of money every week. There’s really no space for play, it’s all work nowadays.

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