Arguing with idiots on facebook. An Epic.
To some of you this is going to be a little confusing and I’ll warn you it’s a little long-winded but I’ll give an idea of the slang and such so you have a better understanding of what is going on here. Firstly I know the idiots in question, you might better understand why I hate my friends. MJD, keeps saying I’m fat. The funniest thing here is that I’m not, I gained weight from my trip to the USA but they really blew it out of proportion. They are talking like I should be on The Biggest Loser or Fat Farm. Toward the end of this little conversation MJD tries threatening me with physical violence. Believe it or not this is almost standard conversation with the idiots I called friends once.
The term ‘banged one time’ effectively means he thinks he’s going to drop me with one punch. He’s outclassed and he backs down in the end. Then he starts on my woman and I don’t appreciate that, male posturing is all fun and games until you start on the oppositions partner. He could have caused a physical confrontation by doing that, it’s fair to say things about me but you don’t start on her. I told him that. A drip is an idiot incase you’ve never heard that one. Oh and Johnny Vegas is an overweight comedian. I realize that I’m an idiot for having a facebook but my woman thinks it’s funny to take advantage of me while I’m drunk off my ass. She said she would make one and I said ”No, whatever, I don’t care at the moment.”
AM: your resident misanthrope.
MJD: Idiot and bum extraordinaire, who had potato in his beard for little over a month. Hates showering, loves young girls. Never had a job. Constantly called homeless by his friends and a bum by his family. Known BMX fag.
WD: Idiot’s loud mouthed younger brother/ retard. If a child ever needed beating it’s this child. Recently had the Bieber cut.
ABC: Idiot’s female friend from Canada. Recently had a son.
-FF- Idiot’s other friend. Irrelevant.
JA: Idiot’s other friend 2. Also irrelevant.
Grrrrrrrrr in a bad mood dont even know why
ABC: same here
JA: no sex today??
AM: Aren’t you always mad about something??
ABC: BAHAHA not by the sounds of it for martin
AM: You’re martin’s Canadian, it’s been a long time, hope all’s well with the baby and such.
MJD: No comment and im not allways mad
MJD: And AM I dont own her
ABC: HAHA hi AM… Every things great here! My baby boy is big and healthy! LOL Martin.telling story’s about me?
MJD: Lol yes na hes talked to u be4
ABC: lmao i know ive taled to him when you were on.
AM: Martin my dear boy I know you don’t own her, It’s an expression of sorts courtesy of my sister. You need a beer martin. Yeah he mentioned you a while back and I was wondering how you’re doing.
ABC: lol AM were great here.. happy family.. just a bad day oddly enough. weathers shit.
MJD: Stalker much
-FF- Joe mate his on his man period,I caught it off you,and I gave it to martin :D
ABC Campeau LOL
AM Martin don’t get me started on you…Back to your bush.
MJD: AM ur gettin to fat to start dont waste my time and go for a jog
ABC: <cant not laugh at you all
ABC: lol martin.. youd understand, only if you were canadian
MJD: That well never happen
AM: Dude I’ve dropped two stone so shut up, good to see you got that potato out of your beard, there was enough to share. Maybe enough to donate to a small impovrished african nation. Oh and cupcake sentence structure is important when you’re trying to be funny.
AM: Don’t say anything martin, it’s better that way…
ABC: fuck sentence structure.. its the internet.. you can read it, you can understand it.. good
WD: Fucking Hell What Happened To AM o.O!
AM: I was thinking the same about you when I saw that you’re currently employed as a bieber double. It’s been a long time will.
WD: You Look Like johnny vegas’s Double. It Has Been A Long Time.
ABC: OMG AHAHAHA
ABC: why am i still getting notifications for this lmao
WD: Its His Double Chin Its Just Amazed At All The Attention Its Getting..
AM: Wait are you talking about me, yourself or potato beard (your biological sibling)
WD: o.O Im Pretty Sure Im On About You ? Your Picture Looks Like Your Storing Nuts For The Winter..
ABC: haha wered martin go i need to laugh at him now.
WD: I Know His Face Is Funny To Laugh At But It Isnt Raising His Self Esteem .
ABC: its ok he makes fun of me anyway so he thinks he feels btter about himself
WD: Okay I Will Let You Off.
AM: And I was like baby, baby, baby NOOOOOOO. How much is this bieber gig paying?
WD: Fucking More Then You Earn In 10 Years :) Thanks For Asking :D
AM: Oh and ashley how exactly do you explain bieber?
He’s from canada so you need to tell me what happened there.
ABC: HAHA i dont give to shits aout that wanker.. just cause hes canadian doesnt mean shit
WD: AM Can You Even See Your Toes Or Do A Sit Up?
ABC: ask his retarded incest parents
AM: Child you remain blissfully unaware I’m happy your career as a rentboy is taking off though.
WD: AM You Dress Up As A Ladyboy ..
ABC: ok not so funny no more
WD: AM why…
AM: William, you scream like a little bitch just remember that.
ABC, Damn I was hoping you continue I’ve been saving Canadian put downs for years.
AM: If I remember correctly, you run your mouth someone grabs you and you scream like a bitch.
ABC: i just said you two rent funny no more
AM: yeah that’s how it goes.
ABC: see… no more humor
WD: LOL AM Your A Drip.
WD: Ashley He’s Mad.
AM: I hear you but it depends on your kind of humor. Yeah, where did this conversation go anyway. We were talking about martina.
WD: But I Saw Your Face I Wonder Who You Ate?
AM: I’m a drip, William, we know you’re a drip as soon as you open your mouth.
WD: AM Talking About Mouths Being Open … Your Either Eating Or On Your Knees …
AM: Previous to that we assume you’re gay for bieber. Mad at you? Really Willamina?
Please don’t tell me you graduated, english like that isn’t even funny. And you’re our future, well we’re fucked.
AM: It hurts to read your comments willamina.
AM: One day you’ll be smart enough willamina, and maybe even form a coherant reply. Until then you should be quiet. It doesn’t look good for you.
WD: AM Your Fat Because You Eat And You Eat Because Your Fat Mad Bro?
AM: nah brah I’m thinking U mad?
WD: Im Pretty Relaxed :)
AM: Mad at bieber for stealing your look or something.
WD: Funny Thing Is My Hair Isnt Like Biebers So Why U Mud?
AM: okay you must have that photo. You may not resemble beebz right now but you once did. The shame resonates through time and space.
WD: So You Sit Around All day Learing About Justin Bieber And Space? I Must Say You Have A Great Life There Sir.
AM: So you took all that time to reply and try to sound intelligent and superior?
Sorry sport. You’re on a losing streak. Protip: Give up now.
WD: AM Only Time I Will Give Up Is When The Face Lady Sings But Hopefully You Wont.
AM: Will if this is a pissing contest you’re being pissed on son.
I get a feeling somebody is going to be reading this in the next 12 hours and laughing at your expense.
WD: Or You Sitting There Comfort Eating ..
AM: You’re an idiot on spectacular new levels willamina.
AM: Are you bored william, I’m really bored now?
AM: Yeah I’m very bored now.
WD: I Dont Get Bored Easily :) I Find this Amusing..
AM: Yeah well I’m tired and I don’t find you amusing. You get all that?
Good because I’m going to bed now willamina.
WD: AM You Lost .
AM: I can tell you don’t get bored easily it’s evident so you can sit in your room brooding and stirring until you realize I’m online. Then spring into action and we can continue tomorrow if you’re still not worried that you’re looking like a retard.
WD: AM The Only Exercise You Get Is When Your Typing..
MJD: dont worry AM ill just send u £2 so u can sit on ur ass and watch 2 hours of tv and get even fatter and we know what u are AM….
AM: hey, Martina don’t even come at me like that because everyone knows you mate. So Mr. Potato you should probably stay quiet too. It’d be best. Oh and since we’re sending each other things I’ll send you a comb to remove the potato from your beard, some Cillit Bang for that shit stain and a sleeping bag for those long long nights alone on castle green.
WD: AM Your Just Mad Becuase You Cant Move Around As Much..
AM: I just could tread on you and not even know it. I think I already did though.
WD: Oit Fat Boy Shut Up Before I Take Your Cake..
AM: Potato beard is more fun anyway.
AM: Later W. Beebz.
MJD: Lol ur out of the loop mate ur the one alone wankin to him self in the dark u dont get anysay AM fact is ill bang u one time ha ha ha the cat is ganna get banged
AM: you’re going to bang me? You’re a funny girl martina. Anysay isn’t a word either. If I’m out of the loop it’s because I have a life, you know beyond jumping ramps at the various skateparks essex has to offer. Anyway you have fun with that sport.
AM: One time martin? I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, you’ve never been very good with facts. And Martin, for the record I’m in the loop enough to know what you’ve been up too. I see you there.
AM: Anyway lets not, you’ve already got your panties in a bunch.
MJD: just seen your new profile pic it made me whos that man your with
MJD: Sick “
AM: Is your girl legal yet?
AM: Martin you’re losing on so many levels.
AM: Call me whatever you want but you just don’t do that. It’s low and a little sad. Then again low and sad are kinda your thing.
AM: So not only are you an idiot, you’re also an asshole. Guess what sport, I’m a bigger asshole than you are and you’re going to come up short.
MJD: Lol im not even readin what ur typing you u fail on every
AM: Okay it’s not your fault, you have trouble reading. I understand. You kinda failed to finish your sentence. It leaves me wondering if you’re having trouble or you’re really just that stupid. Well Martina it’s been fun.
This sort of thing leaves me thinking that A) I chose my friends badly. B) I should never have let her make me a facebook. I really detest the people I once called friends. More than that I detest Facebook but i’m still kinda curious. Like when you watch some nasty porn and finish up thinking what the fuck did I just jerk off too, then delete your search history and hope nobody ever sees it. I just haven’t deleted my search history yet…