My intelligence is definitely suffering.

I’ve been happy and aloof for so long that I haven’t questioned a single thing, you could say that for the first time I stopped examining life and the people around me. The mind is like a knife, you use it a lot, if you don’t sharpen the knife it becomes dull. My mind is in need of sharpening. I have more free time now so I’m going to start reading more and studying, I’ll also do some revision of the topics I’m rusty on. I remember when I used to be told that I could do anything and people would say I’m a genius. To be honest I’m not a genius. With an understanding of human nature, the people around us and keen observation you can work out 90% of things. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to go over some basic sciences and continue to question everything. I’ve lived so much of my life in autopilot. Just doing not thinking. It’s time to take the wheel and start driving again. I have to make my own decisions, based on what’s best for me and not my emotions. This isn’t me saying I’m going to leave my girlfriend and party hard in Vegas. This is me saying that I need to remember who I am, what I believe and the expectations I’ve been trying to Ignore.

Imagine looking in from the outside for your whole life, then being let in only to walk outside again and find myself locked out. I’m looking in from outside from now on. They may let me in from time to time but I have to accept that I live outside and I’ll never be one of them  no matter how hard I try to deceive them and even myself.

Well I’ve gotta fetch things from the wide world. That’s today’s second quest.
Part 2 in a little bit.


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