My girlfriend’s male friends are bitches and here’s why.

I never considered myself a specimen of manliness before but I’m beginning to reconsider that view of myself. I taught myself to shave for lack of a father figure, I fired a few guns but I never went hunting, I can drink down a bottle of whiskey but as far as I know that doesn’t make you a man.

My girlfriend has a good few male friends, now I know men who feel threatened by their girlfriends male friends but I couldn’t feel threatened by them if I tried and here is why.

The first guy, was a pretty cool guy until I found out he is probably with my girlfriends arch-enemy for her money. He lost points that day. Secondly he is totally whipped which is pretty sad. I love my girlfriend but I’d never be pussy whipped that way. It’s just kinda sad that guys let their girlfriend control their life. You might be thinking that we all know one whipped guy but this guy is special. He had to take a photo of where he was to prove he wasn’t lying to her. Then he couldn’t attend my girlfriends birthday because mega bitch has him on a short leash. He can’t even talk to my girlfriend because she will bitch him out. The best part is they aren’t even having sex. He’s pussy whipped without the pussy.

The second is an emotional maxi pad for all the women he knows, my girlfriend likes him as a friend and feels bad for the guy. He can be okay but he gets all down over problems that he has the power to solve. He messages her every day, it seems to me like he hopes to be with her one day which is kinda sad because we are solid. Think every foul bachelor frog you have ever seen crossed with the forever alone guy. He is more depressive and emotional than any goth or emo that ever lived. He kinda annoys me a little, the entertainment value from his Virginia accent is priceless though.

The third is her best friends ex who can only be described as a wonderdouche. They are obviously no longer friends but this guy is a grade A dick. I’d like to physically harm him one day. He thinks he is hot shit because he plays in a band when in reality he is just shit.

Our fourth and final guy is the psycho ex who keeps trying to no avail. He once threatened to kill me to which I responded “good luck with that, if you miss with that shotgun you better start running because I will destroy you before you can reload”
This guy is the scum of the earth, he is also a little bitch. Threatening to kill me be because his ex had the sense to find someone better. Oh wells, I’m just glad he disappeared. He is probably dead or something, again I couldn’t fill a matchbox with the fucks I give.

It’s not just my girlfriends male friends who are bitches, it seems to be most guys born after 1990. What the hell happened to being a man. You know like manning up and dealing with your problems, replacing emotions with shots of jack, standing up for yourself and punching out the guy that just hit you in the face for no reason. None of those things really make you a man but by today’s standards it’s the closest you’ll get to a real man.

I barely ever watch sports unless it’s my team playing a final or UFC, even then it isn’t mandatory. My fashion sense goes as far as wearing suits to occasions and plaid shirts with 501’s. I realized recently that I’m a little old-fashioned when it comes to the way I act. I don’t do metrosexual crap and i won’t kiss a guy because the drunk girls find it hot.
Guys today are worse than women most of the time. A lot of attention whoring going on to. I’d never be a woman’s emotional maxi pad or psycho stalker. What the fuck is up with the second half of my generation and all that followed after them.

Turns out that I’m more of a man than I thought.
Misanthropist

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