Merry Misanthropic Christmas
I recently spent my first Christmas away from home. I had my first Thanksgiving which is basically Pre-Christmas. I got some great gifts this year, you know you have a perfect girlfriend when she gets you the Misanthropes guide to life.
I couldn’t help feeling the good will this year. I drank 15 Budweiser and was really festive, entered a church for the first time and didn’t burn to a pile of ash. I love my girlfriend but wonder if church on Christmas eve is really worth it. One of the guys up front speaking looked like Sheldon from big bang theory which helped a lot. I awoke on Christmas day with a nasty hangover from all the drinking the night before. My girlfriend tells me I’m awesome when I’m drunk. I was able to get out of bed eventually due to hugs, coffee and aspirin. I had a decent breakfast and felt somewhat better, that’s code for functional!
My girlfriends birthday is only a few days after Christmas so I basically get 3 Christmases this year. After calling my family to let them know I am still breathing I smoked a nice cigar and enjoyed 20 mins of peace and quiet. Then came dinner, a huge dinner with more food than I have ever seen on one table. My girlfriend and her family are pretty awesome.
After looking at a few of gramps guns recently I came to a conclusion. Guns should be legal in the UK so I can let a few rounds off into the air when my neighbor plays the fucking organ at 3am to the tune of star wars. On second thought its a good thing they are illegal or I’d take a shotgun to his organ or organs, your choice. I also discovered mikes hard lemonade and that my girlfriend is still full of surprises. That’s why I love her.
American christmas is awesome. Thanks again America.
I’d give you a better update but I’m between typing this out, deciding whether to drink more and talking to my girlfriend about laptop repairs and the PSN network. Oh god she’s discovered YouTube and various other internets, we’re all doomed. I almost won 3000 on the state lottery, just one crown away!
It’s been an awesome Christmas so far and new year promises to be better. More updates coming soon.