I know you’ll see this…

I know you’re probably mad at me from yesterday, which sucks but anyway I’m sorry that I got you up so early but I didn’t expect the sudden influx of morons. Anyway I know you want me to show you that I’m effected by your absence, I am but if I give into it i’ll just be stuck in a rut. As you know depression isn’t fun. I miss you and you know that, everything sucks and I’m trying to feel better about it but it isn’t happening. I’m taking it as hard as you are but I deal with it differently.
I don’t want you thinking I’m unaffected by it all because I’m not. All I think about is coming back to you and how much I miss you. I’m between job hunting, depression, missing you and trying to think of ways to sort things out for us. I may not being a mess but I’m not shaving, i’m feeling like crap and I’m withdrawn and as you know I’ve hit the bottle a bit so yeah even if it doesn’t seem like it I’m suffering and I’m somewhat annoyed. To be honest I want people to leave me alone for a while so we can spend some real-time together. That’s what I’m aiming for anyway. I miss you and I’m tired of this fucking place.
Yesterday I fucked up just a little. Anyway, I love you and I fucking miss you. Waking up and you’re not there sucks. Seeing the people I left behind and the place I left behind makes me hate it even more and gives me more motivation to get the fuck out of here. I feel bad that you’ve been suffering, even worse when I haven’t been there but to be honest nothing is helping right now so I’m a little lost. I’m trying to get back on track here so I can spend more time with you but re-adjusting to the hell hole is a task to say the least. I love you, I miss you and yes I’m suffering, remember you’re not alone in this.



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