Home Town Blues.

My recent trip to the USA was amazing to say the least. I now know the meaning of the expression ‘the time of my life.’
However my misanthropy has been given a booster shot, I can’t stand the place I live in any more. Everything has changed for me yet nothing has changed here. I am actually beginning to hate the entire country.

The food isn’t the same, sub-par to say the least. I cannot sleep in my bed because it is uncomfortable and I don’t have my girlfriend to keep me warm. Everything seems much smaller. The days are long and filled with nothing. I certainly can’t stand the people. In the USA I can co-exist but here I feel like laying landmines down my front path. I am just hating it here and it isn’t the same. It doesn’t feel like home any more. I find myself spending my days figuring out how I’m going to get out of here.

I’m cutting loose in this fucking town and not coming back. I am actually just depressed as hell in this place. I strongly wish I could nuke it. I need to get out of here and I’m trying to turn it into motivation. I can’t even smoke a whole cigarette here because they’re just crap. I’m quitting smoking because of that, I want to drink right now but I know it is a bad idea. Life kind of sucks at the moment.

I don’t even really want to go and see my friends because I don’t know if I can stand them for a prolonged period of time. I’ve got to get my shit together and get moving. I’ve had a taste of the good life and I want it back. Maybe that is why this place seems so shitty. Maybe because I knew no different before. Either way I am having an extremely hard time re-adjusting to England. I did not realise how bad my country is, I’m definitely not proud to be English today. Everything here seems so pointless. To be totally honest I hate it here and I’m getting out as soon as I can.

What this means for you:
I will be writing a lot more, I have a lot more to hate and some stories to tell so it should make for some decent posts.

To my girlfriend, thank you for showing me that the world is bigger than London and there’s a better life for me elsewhere. I love you so much and I fucking miss you.


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