The Reds and the whites and the blues.


United States of Epic Win.

So after many years of planning I’m in the USA, I’d have updated sooner but about 12 people care and to be honest I’ve been way to busy enjoying myself. I’ve got one thing to say to start. Maybe it’s just where I’ve been to a good part but the United States of America is already better than England. There’s so much more freedom here, the people are generally friendlier, I haven’t had to be an asshole for just over two weeks, this my friends is a holiday. To be honest I don’t ever want to go home. I do hate the attention my accent brings me. I’ve already got all the attention I need. Thanks for making this all possible, you know who you are.

I mean the beer is better, bud select tastes watery but it’s better than the watery beer back home. I enjoyed goose though, it’s how beer should taste. I love White Castle, Wendy’s, McDonald’s can go fuck itself. Star Bucks here is much better, Your Chinese food is amazing. I am also very much enjoying your cigarettes. There may not be much of a difference in the way of language but your goods are definitely better, your people are friendlier and I can take a shit without being observed from every angle by over 9000 security cameras. In short I love America for what it is, freedom to make your own choices, to live how you wish to live. People talk a lot of shit about the USA, including myself at times but you really do have to experience it, I’d recommend it. I’ve put on weight, yes your food is that good. Oh and I can relax without being harassed by Jehovah’s witnesses every single fucking week. I like that, thank you America.

The only thing that pissed me off was US customs, after having my cock closely viewed at Heathrow Airport on the full body scanner, my very existence was question by some bald guy at customs, I understand post 9-11 paranoia but fuck, I’d be like the whitest terrorist ever. The guy at customs was a real ball buster, I got away from him in the end. It was difficult enough. I have that one complaint but for the most part it was understandable. I don’t want to go home, I’ve got everything I could ever want here. Also the next time someone tells me about Americans and food I will tell them to shut the fuck up, you guys know how to make good food. I haven’t had one crappy meal since I’ve been here. Also Barnes&Noble is an awesome book store. Where I’m a bit of a night owl and everyone goes to sleep after about 12-ish I’ve been reading a lot more, I guess I have you guys to thank for that. People talk a lot of shit about the USA but now I realize it must be jealously. I’m not saying all of America is super awesome and everything they do is right but it beats home any day. Your post arrives on time, where I am public transport is as prevalent but it sure does run on fucking time which is a god send by the way. Your weather is pretty similar in some places to the weather we get back home but hell when it’s hot it is fucking hot. I love that. You know how to celebrate, I enjoy the laid back nature here. I’m only an asshole really because I have to be to survive back home. Another thing I’m enjoying is the sheer amount of space here. You’re not up someones ass wherever you go because the sidewalk is of a decent size and houses are well spaced.

I see why most Americans are proud of their. Thank you. America>England. No argument there. Even your damn tea is better.


5 Responses to “The Reds and the whites and the blues.”

  1. the word of me Says:

    You MUST learn to use paragraphs…:-)

    • Paragraphs, they’re wonderful things. I learned about them a very very long time ago. When it’s 12.39 AM and you’re tired, very tired, they are just an extra bit of work. Anyway I thank you for being the first person to post a legitimate comment on here. I will use them in future, I’m kinda passing out at the moment so I’ll grab another coffee and do so next time. Do me a favor, if you’re going to critique me: Critique my content. I’d appreciate that. Thanks again for posting something legitimate and helpful. I guess I should write earlier when I’m more alert.

  2. the word of me Says:

    Hi Alpha, thanks for reply.

    Just gentle criticism my friend…I have “old eyes” and find it hard to follow the words when there are no breaks.

    I did like your “stream of consciousness” story though…It probably wouldn’t have been as good broken into paragraphs.

    You know, I’m not sure how I got to your site. I think “StumbleUpon”, but I’m not sure…will visit again.

    Glad you like the country.


    • That’s strange, I was just about to post about that site. My girlfriend introduced me to it and I find it quite fascinating. I go on it when I cannot sleep, much like tonight, thank you again for your help here.
      Feel free to drop by, it’d be nice to have a regular.

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